Scarleteen

My best friend she has been in a tough spot for probably about two weeks now. I had known but when I tried asking about it she would change subject. She seemed okay yesterday. I didnt have my phone charged so it died and when I finally got home today my other friend told me he was worried because she deleted her tumblr. Thats not right at all. Her blog is a recovery one. But then I remembered this very long sad post she put up this morning. I messaged her prior to it,venting. I had felt bad and had hurt myself. Im okay, honestly. I dont care about me. Im just worried about her, now. I shouldnt have been venting to her the way I have this past week. I know I trigger her. She went away one for 4 months once. Im so selfish. I shouldve seen the signs and now she isnt responding to anything. Not my texts,emails,etc. Im so worried sick. Ive been crying since I found out. She said bye to me last time. She didnt this time. I hope she's okay.

Then another friend of mine Im afraid shes going down a dark path similar to my own. I am trying to advise her. I have warned all my female friends many times before of bad guys in particular the older ones that show interest. I dont think she's listening to me. And I dont think the guy is 17 that she speaks about. Its all too dubious.

Also, my brother is really angry with me, again. I dont mean to. Uggh, Im sorry.

Last night, I had a nightmare. I havent been eating but I decided to make some tea to calm my nerves. When I went downstairs my dad was stiil up drinking. It was 2 a.m. Like what the hell?! No just no. I made my tea and just went upstairs to my room.

Today my sister was rushed to the hospital. They think she may have an enlarged heart. I pray oh how I pray she doesnt. I want her to be okay.

Im soooo worried about everyone. I dont know how to be strong with everything and still take care of myself.

We work every day with a lot of you that we often feel very concerned about, so by all means, we can certainly empathize -- even just with work! -- about how challenging it can be when you're worried about a lot of people or things at once. I'm sorry that you have so much on your plate right now!

The good news is that being strong emotionally usually happens BECAUSE we take care of ourselves. In other words, if we don't, we really can't be strong, so no one needs to feel like if and when they do their own self-care, they're not being there for others. It's doing that that really gives you the things you need to be able to be there for others, as well as the ability to do what we all need to to take care of ourselves.

I'd also remind yourself that you're not a crisis worker. So, for example, not remembering to charge your phone isn't like you didn't when you were assigned to volunteer for the Red Cross that day. This happens, and it's not about you being selfish, it's just about you being human and, like the rest of us, spacing out things like keeping a personal cell phone charged. You're not the only person for people in your life, and if you were, that'd be a problem -- and one THEY need to remedy, not you -- not something for you to sign on to. Make sense?

It sounds like as of right now, you are super-stressed and very burnt out, so your own self-care should be put at the very top of your list. Want some help, perhaps, making a schedule for the week for that self-care so that you can at least get a little back on track with yourself, both for your own well-being, but so you even have the emotional reserves to support the others in your life in the ways you want to?