Many Worries. Please Help!

[BlackFish]

Hello.

I recently had anal sex with my boyfriend. He did not ejaculate inside me, he just went in and out a few times. I'm highly worried about STIs and pregnancy. We didn't use any protection.

I'm aware that the rectum is very fragile and easy to tear. Both of us are complete virgins, and I know that with extreme certainty. We've both only had one relationship before each other, and we only kissed our previous partners. There are no risks for STIs from previous partners. We are each our first serious and sexual relationship. I didn't know that if I possibly tore the rectum or anything like that if we could create an STI. I really don't want anything, and I don't think I have any, but I just wanted to know if it were possible for us to start an STI with no family history or previous partners that could be the cause.

Very recently we tried anal again. We used lubricant this time, but still no condom. (We have trouble with condoms and making them stay on.) I understand that this is very dangerous. While we were messing around, he slipped out and slid down slightly. He did not enter my vagina and I'm not sure if he actually touched the outside. It's hard to tell when I'm facing the other direction. He did ejaculate this time but pulled out before he did. I'm very scared of getting pregnant. I'm only 15 and an honors student with a bright future ahead of me. I don't know if I could get pregnant this way. I'm very scared. I don't want a baby. I need some guidance about what can cause pregnancy. I've read many of the articles on Scarleteen, and they helped some, but I'm still extremely confused and scared.

My period isn't scheduled to start for another 8 days. Today my boyfriend and I stopped by a CVS and looked at getting the Plan B pill. I decided not to purchase it because I wasn't sure if I had a real chance of pregnancy. I didn't want to purchase something that I didn't truly need. I'm an extremely paranoid person and I need reassurance and guidance. My boyfriend continues to tell me I'm not pregnant but I don't believe him. He has an entirely different body part. How would he know? I'm really worried about pregnancy and STIs. Help would truly be appreciated.

[Karyn]

Hey BurningScarlett.

The pregnancy risk from anal sex, when your partner did not ejaculate, is very low. If his penis did come into contact with your vagina, then that also presents a risk of pregnancy, but it is again a low one since he withdrew before ejaculating.

In terms of STIs, if you and your partner have never had any kinds of sex with anyone else, then that means the risk of STIs is very low. However, it does not mean it is zero: some STIs are also transmitted non-sexually. The only way to know for sure that both you and your partner are STI free is through testing, but, again, if neither one of you has ever been sexually active with anyone else, then the chances of either of you having an STI is minimal. They don't just appear out of nowhere, like any other infection (a cold, the flu) you have to come in contact with a person who has one. And, they aren't created by any kind of sex.

It sounds like you've been doing some reading already, but there are a few pieces I think you might find helpful:
Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?
Condom Basics: A User's Manual
Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide
What anal sex is and is not

If, after you've had a read through those links, there are still things you're not clear on, just give a shout with any more questions you have.

I also want to ask: this is clearly stressing you out big time, so I'm wondering if you've thought about putting the brakes on and taking a break from anal sex in particular or sex altogether until you and your partner have had time to figure out a method or methods of contraception that work for you, and gotten the hang of condoms? Is being sexually active with your boyfriend this way something you want?

[BlackFish]

Thank you so much, Karyn. I really appreciate all the information. My boyfriend and I have already decided to stop having anal sex and doing many other sexual things. I read the condom basics article. We had done everything right putting it on, but the problem was that we couldn't get it to stay on. It kept sliding up until it was all crumbled and rolled off and hanging off the tip. Do you know how to keep it from sliding off? Thank you so much for all the help. You've really eased my worries.

P.S. Do you really collect condoms?

[Mo]

There's some general info on choosing condoms here that might be useful: Your Map to the Condom Aisle Since the condoms are sliding up & off your partner's penis, getting a snugger-fit condom with a smaller ring size might help!

[BlackFish]

Hi again.

My boyfriend purchased the Plan B pill. I didn't think he was going to, but he bought it before he told me. Do I need to take it? I had become less paranoid but now I'm wondering if I have a real reason to. I know that the pill can cause an irregular period. I'd rather not have one, especially since my period is scheduled to start in a week. I've thought about saving the pill for a later time if I ever need it. What expiration date on the pill? Do I have a real reason to take the Plan B pill?

[marianthe]

Like Karyn said, your risk for pregnancy from the activities you described is low. But only you can make the decision about taking Plan B. The big dose of hormones in Plan B can cause fluctuations in your cycle, as well as other side effects similar to strong PMS.

There should be an expiration date somewhere on the package the pills come in. And here's a bunch more general info about plan B:
Emergency Contraception

[Karyn]

How long ago was your most recent risk? EC can only be used up to 120 hours after a risk, and really, after the first couple of days when your risk was already this low to begin with, it's not likely to reduce that risk much further.

(Yes, I do collect condoms. )

[BlackFish]

Thank you all so much for all your help. You've really helped out a lot and eased my worries. Our most recent risk was on Friday, August 8. I've decided not to take the pill and save it for a rainy day. My period is expected in 6 days. I'm hoping everything turns out all right. Thanks everyone for all the help!

[BlackFish]

My period started yesterday, August 17th (it was a day late), but it's much lighter than usual. When I wipe, it's just pee color tinged pink. I haven't seen hardly anything on my pad. Last night, I used the restroom and it was a little darker and there was red stuff in the water, like a little clump, that looked like what happens when I get a normal period. This morning when I used the restroom, there was nothing and it was pinkish again. I've had a few craps but nothing like normal. I'm really scared. Is this a symptom of pregnancy? Why isn't my period normal?

[Ruth]

There are a lot of reasons why a period can be lighter than usual - there's a lot of 'normal' variance there, which can be caused by things like stress (which pregnancy/STI scares can definitely be), or changes in diet or exercise. Any kind of period at all, however, is typically a sign of not being pregnant.