Scarleteen

Hi there I recently had intercourse for the first time my my bf. At the start I felt something stretch as he gently forced his way in me. It stretched a few times as he tried getting it in and then it eventually felt as if it tore which was very sore and and I screamed out loud lol. My boyfriend said he felt something was stopping him from getting into me but that he felt it stretch and stretch which he said eventually felt like it split in half ( at which point he was concerned because I screamed ). I have used tampons and have been fingered before which I know from reading up on can stretch/break your hymen. Anyhow we only went for a couple of mins as it felt uncomfortable for me, which he was ok about. Afterwards I went to the toilet and noticed that there was no blood what so ever. My bf also mentioned that he didn't see any blood either. The second (and most recent) time we got intimate it just slide in with no problem at all (defo not the same as the first time) but it was still a little uncomfortable for me. Again there was no blood.

I was wondering if this is normal not to bleed if the hymen gets tore as I though that when it gets stretched and torn that it would bleed. Or what else could this have been ?

Not everyone bleeds with first intercourse, even if there is some stretching or tearing of the hymen. (Actual tearing is actually fairly uncommon; usually the hymen wears away on its own throughout puberty, from things like tampon use, masturbation, menstrual flow, etc.)

In short: yes, it's perfectly normal not to have bleeding.

Hi Karyn thanks for your reply it's greatly appreciated. I'am glad you cleared that up for me. Sorry to be a nuisance but do you think it was my hymen that got stretched/torn (based on what I tried to describe) or could this have been something else ?

Hi Lisa,

It's likely that what you felt was your hymen (or corona) stretching. You can read more about that here:
My Corona: The Anatomy Formerly Known as the Hymen & the Myths That Surround It

You might also want to check out this piece, since it sounds like penetration is still causing some discomfort for you:
From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

Hi Sam thanks for your reply. I was wondering in the case that it has been stretched will it go back to the way it first was, (before I had sex) as I wouldn't like to feel that initial pain the first time I had intercourse. Again many thanks for your reply.

Hi Lisa,

So, avoiding that pain has less to do with the corona/hymen and more to do with your own arousal level and how relaxed you feel. So, some ways to to increase your comfort and minimize the chances of discomfort are to make sure that you're feeling warmed up enough before penetration (you and your partner can talk about foreplay and what things to do that get you aroused), and to bring some lube into the situation. You may also want to check in with yourself about whether or not you're comfortable with the activities you two are engaging in, or if there's something you're nervous about, since being tense is often a way that intercourse becomes uncomfortable.

Hi Sam thanks for your reply is greatly appreciated. Yeah everything is fine now its not as uncomfortable and I have taken your tips into consideration and applied them thanks for that. What I was meaning to ask was as it seems that my hymen was stretched rather than torn when I had sex for the first time, will it stay in this stretched way or will it go back to the way it was before I had sex. Sorry about al the questions am just really curious lol And thanks for all your help.

Lisa, your corona/hymen does not so much stretch as gradually wear down, and it will continue to do that.

ok thanks Johanna.

I just want to add here that in the future, forcing any kind of sexual activity like that is not wise and can result in injury, which it sounds like it may have here. If and when someone cannot enter your body, the thing NOT to do is to force it until you are screaming.

No one can actually say if this had anything to do with your hymen without a visual examination, but given you already use tampons and you were having so much pain(the hymen does not have nerve endings), that sounds unlikely to me. It sounds more likely the pain you felt was due to your partner trying to enter before your body was aroused and relaxed enough and/or without lubricant.

But next time, do speak up if something hurts, and be sure your parner knows that means to stop, not keep going. If you have not kept having pain, sounds like you avoided anything but a temporary injury, but you really can hurt yourself this way, not to mention that sex is supposed to be about pleasure, so trying to force things that hurt or do not feel good just does not make sense.

Also, sounds from your last questions like you did not read that link about the corona. If not, it really will fill you in.