Don't fell good when having sex!

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DK_ANO
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Age: 25
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Location: Denmark

Don't fell good when having sex!

Unread post by DK_ANO »

There is a lot of detail in this so if u don't want to know, don't read. sorry.

I am 16 years old and 2 months ago i had sex for the first time. It was with my amazing boyfriend whom i love very much, but it didn't fell good. I wasn't scared or anything because it was my first time, so i knew that it would hurt and that i would be uncomfortable. Since our relationship is long distance (it's not long but there is a 2 hour drive) a month passed before we had sex again. This time it still hurt at the beginning, but it just moved on to being uncomfortable and a strange feeling. When we have sex, it is for a long time and i also get bored and just wants to get it over with. IT JUST DOESN'T FEEL GOOD! After some time i started feeling pain and feeling like something in me was about to explode, and it was NOT a good feeling. It also hurt terribly when i am on top of him and sitting straight up.

I know i can have an orgasm by stimulating my clip but that goes VERY fast and sins he takes quite long to cum it is not a good mix.
What is wrong with me? why does it not feel good at all?
Also should i tell my boyfriend? im really scared to because he will think that he is the problem...

Sorry if i used this part of the site wrong or should have posted this differently
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
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Re: Don't fell good when having sex!

Unread post by Heather »

When you say "sex," do you mean penis-in-vagina intercourse? Even though it's not actually true as a given, when people say they expected pain, they're usually talking about intercourse. But since that's only one kind of sex, and just one kind of sex not feeling good is a different situation than EVERY kind of sex not feeling good, I want to make sure I know what you mean before I dig in here with you. :)

It'd also be helpful for me to know if you're doing any communicating at all between you when you're engaging in sex -- of any kind -- rather than one or both of you not sharing how things are feeling, what you want and need, and what you're each finding you do and don't like, so far.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
DK_ANO
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2015 12:31 pm
Age: 25
Awesomeness Quotient: my mind
Primary language: danish or english
Pronouns: Her/she
Sexual identity: Hetro
Location: Denmark

Re: Don't fell good when having sex!

Unread post by DK_ANO »

When i say sex i mean penis-in-vagina intercourse. We don't speak when having sex if that is what you mean. We have not been dating for a very long time yet so even tho we are comfortable with being naked around each other, we don't really talk much about what we like when it comes to sex.
Thank you answering.
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9584
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Don't fell good when having sex!

Unread post by Heather »

Okay. So, one more thing then it'd help for me to know is if ANY kind of sexual activity between the two of you has been feeling good for you.

But even before I know that one thing I can know is that if it feels too soon to be communicating or to be honest with someone about sex with them, it's probably too soon for sex with them. Heck, without doing that, you can't even really be doing active consenting with each other, and that's ground zero when it comes to people being sexual together.

A big part of having sex that feels good has to do with talking to each other so we can find out what does and doesn't feel good, and make adjustments together as we need to. It's pretty uncommon for people to have great sex when they're not communicating, since it's not like anyone is a mid-reader or is likely to just happen upon what feels great for everyone with nothing but dumb luck. :)
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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