Can you record a brief video of yourself talking about how Scarleteen has helped you? We're looking for clips for a fundraising video in the new year, and we'd love to have you involved! You can find out more, including how and where to upload your video, here: Scarleteen’s Project For Awesome 2025 submission! Our deadline for these is December 23rd 2024!

Question About Condoms

Any questions or discussions that you ONLY want to discuss with our staff or volunteers.
(Users: please do not reply to other users here.)
natcmau
not a newbie
Posts: 36
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2014 5:39 am
Age: 30
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/ her
Sexual identity: Heterosexual
Location: Georgia

Question About Condoms

Unread post by natcmau »

Hello!

I had a quick question I was hoping someone could answer. Recently, my boyfriend and I have begun to have sex. We discussed it and both wanted to be safe as possible. Before I could get a prescription to be on the birth control pill, we used condoms with spermicidal lube on them, as well as the withdrawal method. My question is this: while putting on the condom for him, my fingers may have brushed the shaft or head of his penis. If I happened to get some pre-ejaculate on the outside of the condom, what are the risks of pregnancy in that? I'm not even sure it happened, but I've been wondering. He also didn't ejaculate inside me or anywhere near me and pulled out with the condom still on him before that. So I'm safe in that aspect, correct?
Thank you so much. Coming from a conservative home and an abstinence-only education, your answers are lifesavers.

Nat
Redskies
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 1281
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 11:33 am
Primary language: English
Pronouns: they/them or she/her
Sexual identity: bisexual/queer/pansexual
Location: Europe

Re: Question About Condoms

Unread post by Redskies »

Welcome to the boards!

Trace amounts of pre-ejaculate transfered around from place to place, like from your fingers to the outside of a condom, aren't going to cause pregnancy. Sperm cells get damaged easily, and they would also completely lack the fluid to move in - semen - and the projection which ejaculation usually gives, so they'd be pretty hopeless at getting as far as they'd need to into your reproductive system, so they wouldn't be able to co-create a pregnancy. There's more detail here: Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide

It depends what you mean by "safe". If you mean 100% no-pregnancy guaranteed, then no, because there can never be no risk when you're having intercourse. However, you used two methods of contraception - condoms and withdrawal - which does give you a very high level of protection from pregnancy. From our The Buddy System: Effectiveness Rates for Backing Up Your Birth Control With a Second Method: "Male Condoms + Withdrawal = 99.92% effective with perfect use - 95.95% effective with typical use", over a year of use. That means that, when used correctly together, the chance of pregnancy is very small. In what you're describing, it sounds like you used both methods correctly, so you can have every expectation that you were protected from pregnancy.

If you need more information about correct condom usage, have a look here: Condom Basics: A User's Manual. An extra caution about using condoms and withdrawal together: you and your boyfriend will want to make sure, like you did, that he withdraws in plenty of time before he ejaculates, and that one of you holds the base of the condom on the penis while he withdraws. If people make a mistake, it can mean messing up both methods at once, which is obviously not what you want when you're taking the care to use two methods in the first place!

We're delighted to give you the sex ed you need, and you're so welcome.
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post