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Make myself finish easier?

Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2015 10:05 am
by somthrowaway
Hi,

recently my girlfriend and I have been getting sexy with each other, sorry for the horrible wording. Basically, I finger her and she will often give me a handjob. we usually do this outside of her house, so we are restricted in what we can do. today I got her to orgasm for the first time, however she always wants me to orgasm. it's not that she doesn't make me feel good anything, It's litteraly it's just not enough for me. How can I help myself cum easier and so she can make me cum?

thank you :)

Re: Make myself finish easier?

Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2015 1:37 pm
by Jacob
Hey somthrowaway,

Welcome to Scarleteen! Firstly I don't think "getting sexy" is horrible wording so don't worry about that.

To your question, when you're 'getting sexy', what feels good, and/or what sensations would lead you to orgasm are going to be quite personal to you so a set of instructions of what to do physically probably isn't the answer. However luckily, some of this is more about your approach. It is quite common for orgasm to be a difficult thing to reach when you're aiming at it so directly. So one thing to do is to maybe ignore orgasm itself for a while and think about the situation more generally, think about whether you're comfortable, whether you're enjoying yourself, and do things which you both want to do and which feel good for you in themselves. It might be stuff you've picked up from masturbation or new sensations that you enjoy.

If you're saying she 'always' wants you to orgasm that sounds to me a bit like it could put some pressure on you. Do you feel that way? And if so is it something you've spoken to her about?

If it's a supportive environment where you exploring what feels enjoyable then that's the situation where if orgasm will most likely start to appear, and if it doesn't, you have enjoyed yourself while you learn more about your sexual response, so that one way or other this whole process can be one which feels good.

Finally, to help you out further: here's our article sexual response and orgasm, you might find some of what you need there: Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide

Re: Make myself finish easier?

Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2015 2:19 pm
by Heather
Just a reminder, too, that almost no one can ALWAYS orgasm.