Consent

[katj456]

I know that the general rule is do anything sexual while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. However, I want to know if the situation I am about to describe would be considered rape. If a girl is sober and makes it clear to a guy that she would never consent to a certain sexual act (ie. unprotected sex), but when she is drunk, the alcohol impairs their judgement, and as a result, she consents to having unprotected sex while drunk, and has unprotected sex, would she be considered raped or sexually assaulted in this situation? I am going off to college next year, and I am a bit worried that something like this may happen to me. I am on the pill, so pregnancy would be highly unlikely for me in this situation, but as you know, my pill does not protect me from STDs, so unprotected sex is an absolute no. I just really hope that this situation does not happen to me, however, if it does, I want to know how to handle it correctly. Thanks!

[Mo]

If someone is so drunk/high that it's hard for them to communicate at all, they're obviously not thinking clearly, or their judgment's impaired, then they cannot consent to sexual activity at all; sex with that person would be assault. If you know you feel that strongly about using condoms, then it sounds like the amount of impairment that would let you say "eh, forget that" during sex would be enough that you couldn't give clear consent for sex at all. Does that make sense?

If you're new to drinking or drug use, new to sex with a certain partner, or new to sex at all (and especially if you're all of the above!) then I think it's in your best interest to not pursue anything sexual when you've been drinking. It can be a little hard to make blanket statements about impairment that apply to every possible situation, because it isn't an on/off switch where you're either way too impaired to consent or bright-eyed and sober, but erring on the side of caution is probably your best bet.

[katj456]

Thank you, this does make a lot of sense! As you said in the post, I do feel very strongly about using condoms, and the only way I would consent to not using them would be if my judgement was too impaired for me to even give consent.