Scarleteen

I am a 21 year old fourth year student at a big Canadian university. I am a female who has always loved boys, and I have been sexually active since a fairly young age. I have always identified as straight! However, I believe in a spectrum of identities, and I think that sometimes labels are too restricting.

I have recently been thinking a lot about what it would be like to have sex with another girl. I even met someone who I am interested in! I am a very open person, and I share everything with my friends and family. I would want to talk to my friends about my experiences with this girl, but I am turned off by the idea of having to come out to them, as I don't necessarily know that I identify as a certain label. But, if I just mention to them that I am interested in a girl, or had sex with a girl, without labelling myself, I worry that my friends would ask me if I am a lesbian/bi, and I don't know if I would have an answer to that!

Any suggestions?

I think you can say exactly what you have said here! While some feel comfortable and want to have a label for their identity, others do not. Labels are optional, self defined, and flexible. It's completely up to you. And even if you do decide that you want to use a label, that does not mean that you are restricted to a certain set of behaviors.

I like the plan you have of just sharing that you are interested in someone that happens to be a girl. It doesn't need to be a big deal if you don't want