He is my first boyfriend and I'm his first girlfriend. I haven't ever engaged in sexual activity with anyone but him.Something I've started to notice recently are my reactions to the topic of casual sex. Meaning sex between people not in a romantic relationship. I don't know why, but just the thought of people engaging in casual sex is really unsettling to me. And I don't mean to say that I'm making a moral judgement about people who do it; I believe that people should be allowed to have sex how they want (as long as what they do is not illegal or harmful to anyone). Just thinking about the concept of "hooking up" makes me feel sick to my stomach. Whenever people around me start talking about anything to do with hookups I find myself either changing the subject or just trying to ignore it depending on the conversation. I never used to have such strong reactions until recently. I found the subject to be awkward to talk about, as I do with most things to do with sex because I'm a shy and easily embarrassed person. And I always knew it wasn't something I would engage in. But thinking about it never made me feel sick before.
Why am I suddenly having such strong reactions to this topic? It's bad enough that just hearing the lyrics to some songs makes me feel a bit sick. It's not a big problem in my life, but I'm wondering why everyone else seems to be okay with either talking about it or even doing it themselves, except for me.