Scarleteen

Hi there guys, my boyfriend is 20 and lately he's been really annoyed at himself. I've tried doing research but I'm really not getting the answers I'm looking for so I'm hoping you guys might know. I've had three sexual partners including this one, and each one ended up climaxing within about 30 seconds of actual sex, after foreplay. But most of them stayed up so we could just keep going. So to me this is normal? But it's really starting to upset my boyfriend. All my ex boyfriends were in their teens so I thought it was normal anyway, and 20 isn't that far off either. Anyway, it really annoys him and I just want to check, this is normal isn't it? He said during his first time, he was really nervous so it took him ages to finish but that he's not nervous with me. He thinks its a mindset or attitude issue or something but we've been together a long time now and are so comfortable with eachother. Its annoyed him because his 21 year old friend told him he gets annoyed because it takes him ages to finish and my boyfriends starting to think he's weird for finishing so early he can go again for longer afterwards, but then it does take him longer to finish again and I end up getting sore.
Do men, as they grow older last longer? I always assumed it worked like that.

Thanks for your help

It's not weird for him to climax 30 seconds into intercourse, and it doesn't have to be a problem. Maybe you can talk with him about some other kinds of sex when you're feeling sore; switching things up is a good idea when you're starting to feel pain! It may also help to reframe things and remember that intercourse isn't the only kind of sex; maybe expanding your understanding of sex to encompass other activities can help y'all find other things that work for both of you. This article might be helpful: What's Sex?

It may also help for you to read some of these links and pass them along to him: I Ejaculate Too Fast, How Can I Fix This?
Why Cory Loves Premature Ejaculation
How Can We Have Sex if he Finishes Before We Even Get Started?

I think this TED talk might be interesting for you: http://www.ted.com/talks/al_vernacchio_ ... ere_s_one/

The idea, basically, is that sex doesn't have to be procedural - you can rearrange things however you like. There are probably things other than PIV sex that you boyfriend (and you) enjoy, which you could use to fill the gaps, or go first, or go after - or whatever you like really. According to the pizza model :p if you want to go from foreplay, to orgasm, to snuggling, to PIV sex, to more 'foreplay' - you totally can. And you may find that experimenting like this will help you guys find ways for him to last longer the first time, or come quicker the second time, or just make the period between those two times a lot more fun and relaxed for both of you - and orgasm is always easier and more fun if you're not worrying about when or whether it's going to happen. This is really just what Mo said but in more detail - I partly just wanted an excuse to post that awesome link .