Scarleteen

I'm having a problem with this, because I'm not sure if there's even an issue. I'm on my school's cheerleading team. Earlier today, we all got together just to hang out. A friend of mine came to me saying she saw some bruises on one of the girls. I started worrying that her boyfriend hit her or something, since it's not the first time someone has seen a bruise on her. A few weeks ago, I noticed one on her face, but didn't think anything of it because we also play volleyball and she was hit by a spiked ball the day before. But today, after I was told about this bruise, I tried to get a look, and it seems like she had extra makeup to cover it a little. Since I don't know for sure what caused it, what would be a safe way to approach this? I don't want to automatically assume her boyfriend hit her, and end up finding out it was from a hit in volleyball, or taking a spill in cheerleading. She's seemed a little quiet lately, but that's normal for her every once in a while. I'm also trying really hard not to think her parents would do anything to hurt her, because I know them, and they're very nice. But I don't know what to do Are there any warning signs of abuse that would really jump out at me? She doesn't seem depressed or scared of anything, really

Hi Volleygirl,

I think a way to approach it would be to, if you notice a bruise, casually ask "ouch, what happened there" (or something similar) and see how she answers. She's unlikely to say "oh, my boyfriend hit me," but she may give an odd answer. Beyond that, just doing things that signal that you're someone she can talk to if she needs to are your best bet. That way, if something is going on, she may be more comfortable telling you or asking for help and support.