Scarleteen

Scarleteen posted this article on Facebook a little over a week ago and it really grabbed my attention: "The Game is Rigged: Why sex that’s consensual can still be bad. And why we’re not talking about it"
http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/10/why-con ... e-bad.html
I have never read anything like this before and it really resonated with me - it brought up so many issues that are not talked about enough. And as a current female college student immersed in the pervasive hook up culture I felt like I could really relate to this.
I think consent is a really interesting discussion topic. So often I feel consent is made to be 'the goal' of a sexual encounter, especially for those in gender demographics when sexual assault becomes so must more likely and pervasive. When did a lot of pleasure and having an amazing time not become the goal?? I think healthy sex is so much more than a verbal/physical consent, but its also mutual respect, lust, desire, what have you.
I am interested in hearing any one else's idea on this issue! (And I highly recommend reading the article )

I think consent is a prerequisite for having sex, while the goal is to feel good.

The article mentioned an "orgasm gap" and that sex is most often considered over when the man has had his. In defense of men, I feel like I need to point out that after a man has ejaculated, it's usually rather difficult for him to sustain an erection and continue to feel aroused for some time, while a lot of women can and do continue to enjoy sex right after their (first) orgasm. So it's natural in a way that things come to a halt after the guy has climaxed. Which isn't an excuse for not caring how the other person feels or not making any effort to meet their desires, of course. And it isn't really that hard to switch to another method of stimulation when PIV intercourse isn't an option for the moment.

There's something I've noticed with myself, though. When I have sex alone, I reach one particular state that I know for sure is an orgasm and after that it's over - I feel done, lose interest and move on to other things. When I have sex with my partner, I get into a fuzzy, happy, giggly, moderately aroused state and just stay there for a long while. There are occasional peaks, like milder orgasms, strewn in here and there, but I don't feel there's a particular end point or goal to it. So when he's finished, sex is usually over, but only because I for the life of me couldn't tell when I'm finished. And that's totally fine with me. It doesn't make me feel less of a woman or less empowered or less anything. If I don't want it to be over yet, I'll ask for something I like that doesn't involve his penis, and he's never refused - in fact, I find it hard to imagine a guy who would refuse; from the little I know, most men enjoy getting their partner off. But most often, I'm perfectly happy to cuddle and talk and slowly drift back into not-sex mode.

Now, am I just lucky? Or is the "orgasm gap" really more of a biological imbalance than a cultural one?