Scarleteen Holidays: Our direct services, including these message boards will be closed Christmas Day (12/25), 1st day of Hanukkah (12/26), and New Year’s Day (1/1).

Likelihood of pregnancy?

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
iamanidiot
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2015 2:36 am
Age: 29
Primary language: english
Sexual identity: male

Likelihood of pregnancy?

Unread post by iamanidiot »

Hello, this is probably been asked multiple times but I'm freaking out. So long story short, my girlfriend and I got very intimate a couple hours ago. She was rubbing her vagina on my penis and there may have been precum. Being the idiot that I am, I started to finger her right after. I urinated right before we started but she says that she is ovulating (12 days before her period). How likely is she to get pregnant from my precum? When should she take a pregnancy test? Any help is appreciated. We are both freaking out.
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9734
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Likelihood of pregnancy?

Unread post by Heather »

If you two had unprotected and direct genital-to-genital contact, which it sounds like you did, then there is a possibility of pregnancy. That won't be the same level of risk, however, as it would if you had ejaculated. Essentially, if you didn't ejaculate, then what you did was use the withdrawal method (even though you weren't actually withdrawing since you weren't having intercourse). That's estimated to be around 96% effective in one year of use. So, there is some risk, but you can see that it's not a giant one, by any means. There also will always be possible risks of STIs and other infections when people have that kind of contact without using condoms.

Also, unless she charts her fertility daily, using a method of doing that (not an app that says it can tell her, since they usually can't do that accurately) that is sound, has been charting for at least a few months and has the education to interpret that data, both you and she should figure you can't know about her fertility cycle, so I'd take that bit out of the mix, here.

What she can do since this just occurred, if she wants to do something to reduce the risk of pregnancy more than you not ejaculating did, is to go get and use a method of emergency contraception.

Do you want to talk about how to make sexual choices, moving forward, that you feel better about, including using things like condoms that reduce risks of things you both don't want, like pregnancy or STIs?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
iamanidiot
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2015 2:36 am
Age: 29
Primary language: english
Sexual identity: male

Re: Likelihood of pregnancy?

Unread post by iamanidiot »

Thank you for your reply! Even if there was barely any precum there's still a chance? I read through the old archived posts and most of them say that precum has barely a chance of making anything happen especially considering I urinated afterwards. Is there any emergency contraception/plan b pill you recommend? Or is any pill that is labelled as such effective?

Also I think I'm fine regarding the sexual choices. We've both learned enough from this experience to not do something risky like this again.
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9734
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Likelihood of pregnancy?

Unread post by Heather »

Direct genital-to-genital contact presents possible pregnancy risks, and that's just all there is to that. I already shared with you what statistics and facts we have about the level of that risk (which, as I explained, is probably around a 4% risk in one year of doing this this way, which is, yep, barely a chance, so there's no conflict with what you've been reading).

I assure you, I am very focused on giving users accurate information here, so what I have already said is something I said because those are the facts.

What brand of emergency contraception someone uses has no impact on its effectiveness: all currently available brands are equally effective.

It helps to have a plan, and talks about how you're going to do things differently, rather than just figuring you got scared so you'll do it different next time. Who's going to make sure there are always condoms, for instance: you, her, both of you? When will a condom go on: have you made an agreement with that? These kinds of arrangements and agreements are something you'll want to do together if you want to have this go differently moving forward. :)
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
iamanidiot
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2015 2:36 am
Age: 29
Primary language: english
Sexual identity: male

Re: Likelihood of pregnancy?

Unread post by iamanidiot »

Ah okay I apologize I meant no disrespect. I'm just a college student who's freaking out right now. Thank you so much for your helpful information. I'm going to go out and buy the pill as soon as I can. Also when is the earliest she should take a pregnancy test?

Okay, I see what you mean now. I feel like that's something we should worry about later on down the road when we get through this. Thank you again for your expertise.
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9734
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Likelihood of pregnancy?

Unread post by Heather »

Does SHE want EC? I ask because, obviously, as it's something she takes, it should only be something you get for her if she's asked you to do that.

After someone uses EC, just like when they don't, when someone wants to take a pregnancy test, the time for that is when an expected period is late (that's around five or more days later than the latest it is expected), or when it's been 2-3 weeks after a risk, whichever comes first.

I'd personally advise making those agreements now, IMO, just because making them can not only help people feel more calm when dealing with a scare -- it's a lot scarier if it's not a given, with clear plans, things will be different moving forward -- and because not planning is kind of exactly how people find themselves in this kind of spot.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
iamanidiot
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2015 2:36 am
Age: 29
Primary language: english
Sexual identity: male

Re: Likelihood of pregnancy?

Unread post by iamanidiot »

Yes, we both agreed that it would be the best course of action for her and she took it a couple hours ago. But what should we do now? Just wait until it's time for her to take the pregnancy test? We are both still very nervous but we both believe that she is not pregnant. Just the small chance that she is, is what's making us worried. Thank you again Heather for your advice.
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9734
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Likelihood of pregnancy?

Unread post by Heather »

Here's a link to the section of this piece that's about your situation. It gives you all the steps of what you can do now and what to avoid doing to best help yourselves: http://www.scarleteen.com/the_pregnancy ... _or_missed
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post