Scarleteen

Gender Questioning

So, I want to identify as a demigirl, because I do not feel very feminine nor masculine, but I do feel more feminine, by a little bit. I feel like I shouldn't even identify as anything else if I don't know if I am even any of these things. I also feel heavily unknowing when talking about the topics.

Sexuality Questioning

Now, I don't know if I am Bi, Asexual, Straight or Pan, I don't even know where to start.
I have never been attracted to a real female, only fictional ones.
So I think that I am bi because I have been attracted to a real male, then again that could just mean I am straight because the character did not exist.
But it could mean I am Asexual with acceptions for this one person. (Yes, your sexuality isn't only exclusive to the one group you love.)


In all, I just feel like that I am a normal girl, so I'm not really able to identify. As I am not trying to identify as transsexual, I know that most people who are trans feel like "they are not in the right body." And I feel like I am in the right body. So I shouldn't identify from anything besides straight female.

Hi Ni-Ni, and welcome to Scarleteen.

I think it's ok to use labels and identity terms for yourself if they feel right or good to you, even if there's some uncertainty there. I think it's really common for folks to feel hesitant or uncertain when they first start identifying a certain way. That feeling may well fade with time, or it may stick around for a while, and that's ok. Identity can be tricky! It's also ok to be questioning, or uncertain, or use a few different labels for yourself while you're figuring things out.

Here's a story that might be helpful: I was at a party this weekend where I met some friends-of-friends for the first time, and one of these new acquaintances and I started talking about trans identities (both of us are transgender). And in the conversation I said "I don't want to generalize but every trans person I have ever known personally has had to deal with feeling 'not trans enough' or otherwise afraid to claim that identity." This person I'd never met before reported that they too had not only had that feeling, but had heard similar stories from every trans friend they had. (as a side note, not every trans person feels body dysphoria or other senses that their bodies are "wrong," although that is common for many trans folks. But that's not a great metric for evaluating your own transness, or someone else's. )

So while I can't say this is universal, it is very common for people to worry about whether they "should" identify a certain way or if they've "earned" that label, whether it's related to gender or sexuality or some other category. And in all honesty I really believe that the only thing you need to do, to earn the right to call yourself something, is to feel like that label or category is helpful or comfortable in some way.

Remember to identify with what feels right for you. It doesn't matter if that means the same thing to someone else, as long as it feels right for you. Also remember that sexuality is fluid and constantly changing. You can change your labels whenever you want and to whatever you want, you don't even have to label yourself if you don't want to.

I know I'm a little late on this, but if you still need it, I hope this helps.