Lack of desire

[Aqua]

Hi there! I've been concerned lately because over the past year my sex drive has decreased quite a bit, which is upsetting because I usually consider myself to be a sexual person. I love lingerie, do burlesque, and carry myself in a sexy way but lately my body doesn't seem to feel the way my mind does about sex. Things and situations that I consider exciting don't cause a physiological reaction anymore. I used to masturbate regularly but now I often think, "what's the point?". I hate the term "broken" but it feels like my mind is saying "yes" to sex but my erogenous zones aren't responsive. It definitely has my partner concerned as well. Is there anything to help this? I thought I might include some other things that may be factors:
-this year I had some serious health issues and stresses, however I have come out of them and have been relatively well for a few months now
-I do have depression, and I see a therapist and started taking 5-htp supplements as an alternative since I react badly to antidepressants
-I exercise, dance, eat healthy and get a good amount of sleep
-I had mirena inserted a few months ago and it's currently the best bc option for me, in fact my sex drive seemed to increase after getting it because I wasn't as worried about pregnancy.
Anyway, I don't quite know where to start looking for a solution to this. Any input would be appreciated. Thank you!

[Mo]

I think that if you haven't mentioned this to your therapist or doctor, this could be a good place to start. Many people report decreased sexual desire when dealing with depression; it can be directly related to the depression itself or to medications/supplements people use to treat it. It does look like some people experience this when taking 5-htp, so that could be something to discuss as well.

Sometimes changes in sexual desire can be related to changes in a relationship; do you feel like things are going well with your partner in general? Is there any conflict there that feels unresolved?

Beyond these factors, it's good to keep in mind that people tend to experience some flux in level of sexual desire throughout their lives. It doesn't always mean something's wrong! It may help to focus on what intimate activities you do enjoy doing with your partner; it may be sexual or not, but finding ways to connect intimately even if you aren't that interested in certain types of sex, or sex in general, at the moment it doesn't mean you can't be close to each other.

[Aqua]

I'll bring it up to my ob/gyn. My relationship has definitely gone through a lot with all my health problems. He spent the majority of the year taking care of me, and now it's an adjustment finding things to enjoy together rather than worrying about my health.

[Mo]

In a long-term relationship there are times when folks might need to step back and re-evaluate or re-learn how to craft a sexual relationship that works best for both of them. It sounds like you might be in a point like that right now! I think patience and open communication will be your most useful tools in helping you find what feels best.