Scarleteen

Hi my name is Ashley and i'm 15 years old. I have been dating my boyfriend Miguel for about a year now. Miguel is Honduran/Mexican while I am African american, we have a great relationship and we are very much in love. Recently is grandparents came to live with him for 3 months. I used to go over his house all the time and have fun and watch movies, and I have (had) a good relationship with his brother and sister. But now that his grandparents our here i dont go over there ever and they have no idea i exist, and he wont tell them about me. This is because they dont want him to date outside his race. Even when my bf dad was going to marry his mom the grandparents had a huge problem because she was Honduran so you can imagine how worse it is now. This is tearing our relationship apart into a million pieces and my heart. And I have no idea what to do.

Hey, Ashley, I'm really sorry to hear this.

I do want to first check in, though. Is this this same boyfriend -- http://www.scarleteen.com/bb/viewtopic. ... 644#p17644 -- who has been abusive to you? I ask because I feel like talking about how to be with this person because of the issues with his family is a bit verboten because someone abusive just isn't something to try and stay with, but someone to do what you can to get away from. If this is this same relationship, from all you have posted about it here, it is clearly a very unsafe one with a range of abuses within it. I'd encourage you, as we have before, to do what you can to get out of it, not to keep staying in it.

Too, understand that as a service and organization that always has to act in the interest of our user's health and safety, we really cannot in good conscience work with users to help them stay in abusive relationships. We certainly respect if and when someone isn't yet ready or -- like when they are living with an abusive partner and have nowhere else to go yet -- able to leave, and doesn't want to talk with us about getting out and away, but when that's the case, we can't keep talking about how to stay in. Instead, we just need to step back and let you know that if and when you want to talk more about how to get out, we're here for that for you.

This is not the same relationship

I'm feeling very confused, and really need to make sure we know what's what with something like this, so we do not unintentionally help someone stay in danger: that post I linked was from October of this year, but you say you have been dating this person in this post for a year.

I may just be missing that these relationships weren't exclusive (that you have been seeing both these people for a while at the same time), in which case, apologies for my misunderstanding. But can I ask you to make sure we get the deal with this before we address this new post?