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Sex

Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2015 12:51 pm
by Roxy
I am 15 years old almost 16 and I have been dating my boyfriend who is 16 for almost 6 months now and things are getting pretty heayede, I can stop thinking about him and I'm turned just by the thought of him, I am thinking we should go to the next step oral sex, and we had planned on prom to go all the way but I don't think that's gonna work with the location and so I was thinking after a couple weeks or so of oral sex then we have sexual intercourse. What do you think on the situation (by then I will be 7 months dating) oh and he had sex before not me I'm a virgin. Does that help, plus he had sex intercourse 3 times.....

Re: Sex

Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2015 12:58 pm
by Roxy
Also how do I tell him I want to go to the next step without being nervous?

Re: Sex

Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2015 1:27 pm
by Ashleah
Hi Roxy,

Can you give me more of an idea of what you want to know?

If you are asking for an opinion on if you should have oral sex/intercourse then that is something that you have to decide for yourself. We do however have some really great resources to help you evaluate if you are feeling ready or when you do feel ready things to consider for the "first time". Let me know if you are interested in those.

And even though your boyfriend has had sex before doesn't change the fact that it would be the first time that y'all have sex with each other. Can you also give me more information about why this (or if) concerns you?

As far as communication goes, you can just say it! It's okay for you to feel nervous or for there to be some awkwardness. Are you worried about his response? That you will sound silly or forget what you want to ask? One thing that I do when I am going to have a conversation that is difficult for me (btw, this doesn't have to be one for you) is to practice what I want to say or ask. I also sort through what are some of the things that could happen. That gives me a sense of feeling prepared and like I can handle it even if it doesn't turned out the way that I thought it would.

Also consider does this need to be any different than if you were telling him something else? Think about how you would tell him if you wanted to go to the movies? (of course I think there should be talk of protection, boundaries, and such, which you don't necessarily need to do if you are going to the movies, but I hope you see what I mean :)) The way you communicate in general plays a big role in how you communicate about sex. It's also a SUPER important part of being prepared.

Here is a really great piece about communicating around sex: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/relat ... _a_partner

It lays out some specific ways that you can start to have this conversation and can help you think through things. How about you check it out and let me know what things could work for you as well as get back to me about the other questions I asked.