Others' expectations of your body
Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2014 5:48 pm
The other day, my partner made a comment that took me by surprise, and I was surprised by my surprise.
The comment was just an offhand mention of how he liked my fuzzy legs - I shave them sometimes, when I feel like it, but right now they're pretty hairy, and have been for a few months. He's never said anything about my hair removal (or lack thereof) in any way, but when he said that, I was taken aback: part of me was shocked that a straight guy would think such a thing, and another part of me, even though what he'd said was positive, got kind of defensive, ready to explain why I haven't bothered shaving recently and apologize for it.
Obviously, all the years of being told by mainstream media and other sources that women shouldn't have body hair had a bigger influence on me than I thought, and those messages have shaped not only how I think about my body, but how I expect others to think about my body.
There isn't really a specific discussion point in all of this, but I'm wondering if any of you have had similar experiences, and how (or if) it made you pause and reevaluate your assumptions about what other people might expect/want your body to be like.
The comment was just an offhand mention of how he liked my fuzzy legs - I shave them sometimes, when I feel like it, but right now they're pretty hairy, and have been for a few months. He's never said anything about my hair removal (or lack thereof) in any way, but when he said that, I was taken aback: part of me was shocked that a straight guy would think such a thing, and another part of me, even though what he'd said was positive, got kind of defensive, ready to explain why I haven't bothered shaving recently and apologize for it.
Obviously, all the years of being told by mainstream media and other sources that women shouldn't have body hair had a bigger influence on me than I thought, and those messages have shaped not only how I think about my body, but how I expect others to think about my body.
There isn't really a specific discussion point in all of this, but I'm wondering if any of you have had similar experiences, and how (or if) it made you pause and reevaluate your assumptions about what other people might expect/want your body to be like.