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Relationship problem

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andrej
not a newbie
Posts: 40
Joined: Wed Nov 05, 2014 9:25 am
Age: 29
Location: croatia

Relationship problem

Unread post by andrej »

Hello there!

I am 21 year old male and I'm bisexual. I'm currently in a 3 year old relationship with an amazing girl. This is my first relationship and so far it's been great, she's incredible and loves me unconditionally, but the thing is that a year ago I started thinking how it would be to be in a relationship with a guy. I've been trying to suppress these thoughts because the fact is that I am in a stable and loving relationship, but the thought is getting really restless and it affects me a lot. I am not sure what should I do. It seems to me it's a mistake to abandon this relationship for something hypothetical and I really do not want to lose my girlfriend over something that could be just a fear of missing out so I'm asking You for an opinion.

Thanks in advance!
Carmen
not a newbie
Posts: 177
Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2015 1:25 pm
Age: 28
Awesomeness Quotient: disco dancing on roller skates
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Location: United States

Re: Relationship problem

Unread post by Carmen »

Hi andrej,

That is a hard situation to be in and I am glad you are so aware of your feelings; however, trying to repress them is likely not going to fix anything and just make them harder to deal with in the future. It is important to trust yourself and the feelings you are having and up to you to decide how to act on them. In regards to your relationship this might be a helpful reading: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Hope this helps!
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9687
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Relationship problem

Unread post by Heather »

Can I also check in with you about if an exclusive relationship is the only model you or your girlfriend want? Are you out about your bisexuality to her?

I ask because relationships don't have to be an either/or unless people want them to be. Just like people can, and often do, have more than one friendship or family relationship at a time, the same can go for romantic or sexual relationships.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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