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Mother daughter relationship

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cldscared
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2015 12:09 am
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm confident
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Bisexual
Location: Indiana

Mother daughter relationship

Unread post by cldscared »

:oops:
I'm 15, almost 16, and my boyfriend is 17. We've only been dating for two months. We've done everything except for actual sex, which is a big deal to me because he's the first guy I've ever done anything with. I honestly think I'm in love with him.
My mom and I are best friends. She's extremely easy going, but can be judge mental at times. I have two older brothers, and both got their girlfriends pregnant when they were 19. This has caused a strain on me and the expectations of me. Now my parents and brothers think that I will be promiscuous and get pregnant. It has worsened now that I have a boyfriend.
I want to tell my mom that we have been intimate, but I don't know how without breaking our trust or straining our relationship. I also think I'm ready to have sex with my boyfriend, and I would like to tell my mom, but I'm so afraid that she'll hate me and try to keep my boyfriend and I apart. Please help.
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Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Mother daughter relationship

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi cldscared,

I think it's great that you and your mom are so close, but I can see how that may cause some difficulties when trying to bring up sex as a topic (especially if it's already fraught). I think a good first step is to consider what it is you'd want from this conversation with your mom, should you choose to have it. What are you looking for from her, how are you hoping she'll react, etc? Too, you'll want to consider the possible negative consequences of having this discussion and be prepared for them.

I would also suggest reading this two pieces as some food for thought:
Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist
Sorting Maybe from Can't-Be: Reality Checking Partnered Sex Wants & Ideals
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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