cum on anus

[kyleliu566]

Hi. I'm extremely worried. I'm a gay guy, and I had sex with a guy through Grindr earlier today. He put his penis between my legs rubbing against my ball and legs. He was facing me. He didn't use a condom. He ejaculated. I can't remember the details but I think his cum might have dripped onto my anus. He never penetrated me. Is there any chance that I get HIV through this? What else can I possibly catch through this? What should I do now to minimise any risks?

New year is just in several hours and everybody is celebrating, but I can't celebrate because I'm really worried. If anyone could help me I would be very grateful.

Thanks.
Kyle

[Sam W]

Hi Kyle,

I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed. To start, go ahead and give this piece a read, as it covers what activities pose what kind of risk: Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?

Also, just to check, were you okay with (or did you agree to) what this guy was doing (both the actions and the not wearing a condom part)?

[kyleliu566]

Thanks, Sam. I didn't feel comfortable with his actions but everything happened too quickly for me to react. I regret so much that I didn't speak out.

I have had a careful read of the link. My understanding from that is, there's not much risk for me to catch HIV or anything else from what he did to me, so I don't really need any urgent actions - am I correct? Please let me know. Thanks again.

[Heather]

Doesn't sound that way to me. But it does sound like you might benefit from talking about how to do consenting with partners so that no one is ever doing anything with you that you haven't asked for or said okay to, so that you are never part of anything you don't want, don't feel comfortable with, or is going on without any safety precautions you want. If you'd like to chat about that, we're happy to do that with you!

[kyleliu566]

Thanks, Heather! I have been reading the posts and articles on this site - just want to say that the site is very useful and helpful!

Do you mind clarifying to me what you meant by "doesn't sound that way"? Do you mean it doesn't sound like there's much hiv/sti risk which I should worry about?

Yes, I would like to chat/learn about consenting. How does it work? Should I just post on this message board when I have a question?

By the way, it's 2016 down under already - happy new year!

[Sam W]

Hi kyle,

Great! We can start you off on those topics with these pieces: Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist