Post-orgasmic clench

[Petals]

I wasn't really sure which category this falls into exactly, but I've been all over the internet because of this without finding anyone with a shared experience.

I am female partnered and use toys for penetration both with partnered and solo sex. I enjoy it, and I climax from it, and there really isn't a honest problem here, but:

When I climax with a toy inside, my body goes into a death grip on the toy and it is very difficult to pull it out without discomfort or even pain. It's like my body has decided the toy now belongs to my vagina and won't let go. A lot of the times I also go completely dry immediately after climaxing, which probably contributes to the difficulty of prying the toy out. The latest episode I had like this it honestly felt like there was a vacuum inside me holding the toy hostage. Because my partner can't feel what I feel, she's sometimes too brisk in pulling out which is painful.

Now, solutions that I came up with: stop climaxing with a toy inside, apply lube generously and hope it'll help, accept my fate and wait for pelvic muscles to relax more (I've allowed the toy to slip out on its own accord before but it too was uncomfortable).

So what I'm asking is: does this happen to other people? Is this at all common? Is this one of those things that happen but nobody ever talks about? Are my kegels just too fit or what's happening? Is this more of a muscle issue or a lubrication problem? Both? Neither?

[Sam W]

Hi Petals,

I think your "add more lube" idea is a sound place to start, to see if that helps at all. Have you found that this happens no matter what size toy you use, or is it only an issue with larger toys? Also, does your partner know that this is something you experience?

It would also be sound to check in with an OB-GYN and talk to them about what's happening, since this is ongoing and causing you discomfort and frustration. They'll be better able than we are to take a look and see if they can work out what might be causing this.