Really anxious

[girl123]

Hello,
I was making out with a random guy at a party (our eyes were closed). After some time, I realized that I had just touched smthg soft and fleshy. He apparently took out his penis at some point :/ When I realized it was his penis, I almost immediately pulled my hand away.

Around 2-3 minutes later, I tell him I need to go to the toilet. I don't wash my hands but go straight to pee and wipe myself from behind. I remember that my palms were a bit sweaty from nervousness (therefore slightly wet, but not dripping). I'm not sure if there was pre-cum as well (probably not, but still)

Say there was pre-cum on any part of my hand. Could it have transferred from the toilet paper (which got wet with pee when I wiped myself) into my vagina and gotten me pregnant?

Thanks for your help on this website. I'm so glad I found it.

[Heather]

This isn't something that presents pregnancy risks, no.

But I'm so sorry to hear what sounds like someone engaging you in genital contact with them without your consent. How do you feel about that? Would you like to talk about it?

[girl123]

Thanks so much!

[girl123]

I realize that rationally, it's definitely not possible to get pregnant that way, but I think I'm still in shock. All in all, it was a very lousy experience and not my kind of people. I still feel anxious about being pregnant, although it doesn't make sense. I am seeing a counsellor atm because of my anxiety issues

[Heather]

You know, when we get scared -- and by all means, for people who aren't so traumatized or who have had nonconsent normalized, nonconsent is and SHOULD be scary -- or are traumatized, where those feelings get filed isn't always rational or logical. It also makes sense to feel scared of a pregnancy due to anything nonconsensual, since that would obviously massively compound the impact of that. Again, though, this isn't how pregnancy happens, but alas, facts tend to bounce off fears like this, rather than put them to bed, because what's causing those fears probably isn't a lack of facts, but the hard feelings you're having because of what this person did to you.

And yep: it's normal to be in shock from something shocking. Do you feel able to tell your counselor about this experience? If so, I'd suggest that, because coping with nonconsent when someone does it to you is a lot easier with as much qualified support as you can get.

[girl123]

I have spoken to my counsellor about my concern but I hadn't thought that my deeper fear was of the nature of it being non consensual. Thanks for pointing that out.

However, I haven't been able to sleep or eat for two weeks now and all aspects of my life are suffering (grades, social life,...)

I can't stop rationalising in my head. I fact, I can't go 10 minutes without having to go through all the reasons why I can't possibly be pregnant. I have replayed that experience in my head a million times. I am truly convinced on a rational level, but the overwhelming fear persists. (I even got my period two days after). If I don't repeat all the reasons why I can't be pregnant every few minutes, I feel like I'm suffocating. I really don't know what to do anymore.

Also, does the fact that my hands were sweaty pose any risk as to the viability of sperm? Thanks again for all your help

[Heather]

I'm so sorry to hear you're having so much trouble sleeping or eating.

Again, this isn't a situation that would have presented any pregnancy risks. It sounds like what you're trying to manage this anxiety -- the repeating of facts in your head every few minutes -- just isn't working for you. Can you put a call into your counselor and a) let them know how bad this is for you right now, and b) see if they can't have a session with you to try and help you come up with some alternate things to try?

Would you like some web-based and app resources for anxiety management?

[girl123]

Hi again,

So a while ago I asked you a question (above) which you answered as not presenting any pregnancy risks (which I understand on a rational, scientific level, but anxiety gets the better of me sometimes). I got my period normally (heavy bleeding etc..) last month, which was two days after I went to that party..

Yesterday, I got my period again, with a cycle of exactly 28 days. I felt all the PMS symptoms yesterday (cramping mostly), however when I got my period it was just one trace which I saw on the pad. Also, when I pee, there's no blood, and my pee is completely clear.

I was wondering, could this be implantation bleeding, or is it because I was living in *extreme* anxiety for two weeks that my hormones got messed up? Thanks for all your help, I really appreciate it.

[Karyn]

Periods can vary for all sorts of reasons, including stress, but sometimes it just happens: bodies aren't entirely predictable and they won't always do what we're expecting. It's not unusual for a period to start off with a bit of spotting and then get heavier over the course of a couple of days, so it's very possible that that's what's going on here, even if it isn't something you've experienced before.

How are you doing with managing your anxiety? Have you been able to talk to your counsellor and develop some coping strategies for when you're feeling particularly anxious?

[girl123]

Thanks so much. I stopped my therapy because I had a very busy week and because it's really expensive, but I should be able to continue soon.

Just for my knowledge, is it possible for a period to be exceptionally light, or to be just spotting, or completely skip a month because of intense anxiety?

[Sam W]

Hi girl123,

Are there any strategies for managing intrusive or anxious thoughts that you worked on with your counselor that you could use while you wait to see them again?

Periods can be affected by lots of things. We actually talk about that in more detail in this article (obviously, in your case we'd rule out pregnancy): M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period?