Hello.
My dad beats me on occasion- not more than once or twice every two years.
I have no scars or permanent marks.
I count it as abuse.
In my mind corporal punishment is okay, but it is NOT okay for someone to punish in anger and/or punish someone who doesn't know what they did wrong.
The bruises don't last longer than a week, generally disappearing within four days.
A couple times he hit me with a stick, it was a broken broom handle that actually broke on me.
Last time was several months ago, with a belt.
He's diabetic and has a short temper, which I inherited.
I talk about this with my mom, and she doesn't leave him because he needs her.
I can admit that although I want to be away, losing us would break him.
I sometimes think that he deserves it.
I have three siblings, all older than me, and all in university across the globe.
My family is religious, except me.
I talked with my mom about me not being religious, but I'm afraid what would happen if my dad found out.
He grew up in a very religious family so it's a cultural thing.
Am I overreacting?
He generally spoils me and calls me pet names. Basically if I ask for something within reason, it's mine.
I'm the baby in the family.
My sibling are all at least seven years older than me, and mom says it was worse for them.
I can't do anything, and of late I've been feeling slightly inclined to self-harm and a second suicide attempt.
I need help, because I don't want to die.
-M
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Am I Overreacting?
Forum rules
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.
This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.
This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
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Re: Am I Overreacting?
Just for the record, we consider -- as do most anti-abuse and child and adolescent mental and physical health advocacy organizations -- corporal punishment an abuse as well. It is various physical abuses by definition, and we do not consider there to be "good" motivations for abuse. It, like other forms of abuse, is about intimidation and control.
I'm sorry to hear that you have been living with abuse in your family. The only responsible thing we can ever do in these situations, as an organization and service that isn't set up to intervene with in-family abuse, is to concern ourselves with the safety of the person who is reporting being abused, and to try and find local resources for you to get help so that you can get safe and away from abuse. Are you open to exploring those?
We cannot address suicidality here, as we lack what's needed to do so responsibly and well. We can, however, help you find suicide hotlines or local care resources if you would like.
I'm sorry to hear that you have been living with abuse in your family. The only responsible thing we can ever do in these situations, as an organization and service that isn't set up to intervene with in-family abuse, is to concern ourselves with the safety of the person who is reporting being abused, and to try and find local resources for you to get help so that you can get safe and away from abuse. Are you open to exploring those?
We cannot address suicidality here, as we lack what's needed to do so responsibly and well. We can, however, help you find suicide hotlines or local care resources if you would like.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead