Scarleteen

What I'm posting here is a post I did on another site and I really want help.
I might as well ask this.... What am I? I don't remember anything from my childhood that really tells me if I'm gay, bi, or transgender. I blurry remember high school and the only gay thing I remember doing as a kid was me and my friend eating bacon together; or the only seemly transgender I remember doing was wearing my grandma's silk nighties as a kid; or in my teen years and going through some emotional possible wanting of attention cause my dad had a divorce with a mean stepmother who I don't remember, and I'm glad I don't. The only other thing I think was the possible hint to my sexuality was falling in love with polka player, lynn marie with I was young. I didn't understand sexuality when I was young; when gay people would hit on me I would be confused and not understand why they were hitting on me; hell, I didn't even know what it was as a teen. All I cared about was art, so, learning about my sexuality wasn't important, but now I wish I could understand it, but I'm too scared to have a relationship with anyone. I fear humans. Also, forgot to mention, at one point I developed a persona called tressy, I don't remember much about her, and I blame it on meds and what my stressful situations at the time. It mentality got so bad to me, that I had to tell her to just... go away. I havent seen her after that.

I'm sorry this feels stressful for you right now.

Am I right that you're saying you have extreme social anxiety or phobias, to the point where you feel very afraid of people, period? Would you say that includes yourself, or just other people besides yourself?

I ask to try and first figure out if it even makes sense for you to try and figure any of this out right now, because if one or both of those things are true, then getting a sense of to whom you might feel drawn to (when you really only feel afraid) or trying to dig deep with yourself (if you feel very afraid of you) might just not make a lot of sense or really work with that way of feeling. It also sounds like you're saying you've experienced dissociative identity disorder of some kind, which would obviously complicate all of this, too.