Scarleteen

Acquaintances are always asking me where I come from. They seem disappointed when I say "British Columbia." But where are you really from? I mean, originally?

I was born in BC. My mother is Quebecois, and my father is Sri Lankan. I'm not sure how I identify, racially; whenever I have to fill out one of those "ethnicity" census forms, with all the little boxes, I feel anxious.

I identify as queer, and, for me, that's an easier identity to wrap my head around. I identify as queer because I am attracted to women, trans folks, genderqueer, androgynous and gender-varient people, and (possibly, I'm not ruling anything out!) cissexual men. (I like the term "queer" instead of a word like "lesbian" because it's more of an ambiguous, umbrella term, whereas a word like 'lesbian' seems to imply that I am only attracted to women). Even though I feel quite comfortable with my queer identity, however, I haven't really reconciled my mixed-race Quebecois/Sri Lankan/Canadian identity and ancestry within that.

I've found that, in many of the queer circles here in Montreal, it tends to be very white-dominated. The "beauty ideal" is young, androgynous, white, and able-bodied. I don't see all of me reflected, accepted, or encouraged. I feel that I constantly have to hide or downplay certain parts of my identity, depending on what group I'm in.

What do you think? Do you feel that race gets talked about enough in GLBT/queer circles? How does your race intersect with your sexual orientation(s)?