possible polyamory?

[vilette]

Hi!
The thing is, I'm not jealous. Even though I know that the person I like and sleep with has the other partner (okay, I'm the other woman, but that's not a place to judge, please, save it for another time) I haven't felt even a pang of jealousy. Does it mean I may be polyamorous myself? Or just being able to be in a poly relationship?

[Sam W]

Hi vilette,

To clarify, are you currently in a poly relationship, or thinking about being in one?

Some people find that poly relationships work for them, while others do not. That depends a lot on your own beliefs about sex and relationships, your own disposition, and how well you and your partners are able to communicate. Have you had the chance to read up on different types of poly relationships?

[vilette]

I am in situation that resembles the "V" type of poly relationship. but I would not classify it as one, because it's not discussed and all agreed on between the parties. Plus the other partner of my boy has a priority over me.
But what concerns me here, is if I can say that I am poly if I am not the one who likes two people at once, only the one who's not jealous at all?

[Sam W]

Villete, forgive me for being blunt, but what you're describing sounds like your partner is cheating on his girlfriend with you (I had thought that might have been what you meant by "the other woman", but did not want to assume). Like you said yourself, that's not a poly relationship. But, that does not mean that you are not poly yourself. It depends on how you would define the type of relationships you're interested in and comfortable with, as well as your beliefs about relationships. Too, some people who are poly do experience jealousy from time to time, but find ways to manage and communicate those feelings with their partner(s). So, not feeling jealousy in this instance does not automatically make you poly, but could mean that poly relationships would work for you. Does that make sense?

You might also find this piece helpful, as it's sort of a starter piece on polyamory: Polyamorous? Does That Mean You Like Parrots?