Spotting after losing virginity

[s0123]

Hello,

I lost my virginity on Sunday and had sex again on Monday. I have been taking the pill for 3 weeks and we also used spermicidal condoms as well as pulling out. We tested the condoms afterward by filling them with water and making sure nothing leaked out.

Now on Tuesday I have some brown, thickish spotting. I have been taking the pill the same time every day except once I took it two hours late about a week ago. I am supposed to take the first sugar pill tomorrow and start my period soon after that.

I am very scared of the possibility of being pregnant. We were extremely careful (we used 4 types of contraception!) but I am getting scared because I don't know if the spotting is because of breaking the hymen or if it is implant spotting. If I am due for a period in 2-3 days but only had sex 1-2 days ago would a pregnancy test be accurate?

I wasn't worried about getting pregnant because of all our precautions until I saw the spotting. I am hesitant to use Plan B because I know taking it a lot can mess up the uterus but I will if any of these are signs that I could be pregnant and I know I only have 3 more days to take it if I have to.

I hope this isn't classified as a "pregnancy scare" because I am mostly just curious about the spotting and if it is normal. Thank you for any answer!

[Heather]

Since you are still so new to your pill, and I do not hear you talking about using any lubricant here, AND you are due fir your placebo week soon, what this most likely is is either a side effect of your pill, you getting used to it, and/or bleeding due to abrasion of the vaginal opening or canal. (The hymen likely has little or nothing to do with is, especially since if you were not assaulted, there was not likely any "breakage." The hymen does not usually break with consensual, wanted intercourse where people are not seriously aggressive. Rather, it is thin tissue that gradually wears away, sex or no sex, over a lifetime.) Having intercourse twice in two days, especially when it is brand new for you, may also have just been overkill when it came to the delicacy of vaginal tissue, especially if you were not using lubricant either or both times, or were not very aroused and relaxed throughout both times. But my money is on this simply being about your body getting used to your pill.

I see no need for Plan B here. Your pill already does all it can do, and does so more effectively. There is also no need for anyone to fill condoms with water. When a condom has broken it is very obvious, just like a broken balloon is clearly broken. As well, implantation bleeding is not only more uncommon than not having it, it cannot happen on this kind of timeline: getting to the point of implantation, with conception, takes more than a day or two; it occurs more like a week or so after intercourse.

Also, just for future reference, there is no data that supports the idea that Plan B can "mess up the uterus" if taken frequently. You do not need it, as again, there is nothing for it to do your pill is not already doing, but even if you used it a few times a month, there is nothing to support that would be a problem for your uterus or general health. The main issue with using it often is financial, and also about the fact that often when people are using it a lot, they are not using other, more effective methods.

Too, know that any two methods of reliable contraception - any two - used properly pretty much gives you as much protection from pregnancy as methods can give us. No need for three, four, or good gravy, five! If you feel like two methods are not enough for you to feel okay about this, or find yourself doing panicky (and ultimately useless) things like filling condoms with water, I would check in with yourself about if you really feel okay having this kind of sex, or really feel good about the methods you are using. If the issue is the latter, it may be wise to talk with your healthcare provide about all your options so you can choose a method or method you feel more confident with.

[s0123]

Hello, thank you so much for your quick reply!

We did use a little bit of KY lube, as well as lubricated spermicidal condoms. I was pretty nervous (but also excited, I wasn't scared or unwilling or anything) but it took a while to figure out a non-painful way. The first few positions that we tried each time caused me quite a bit of pain, so could that have caused the bleeding? Is it normal for the bleeding to start a day or two after actually having sex?

I know that I am okay with having sex, we've been talking about it for over a year before doing it. I am just a very anxious person about most aspects of life and since I hadn't been taking the pill very long I wanted to use different backup methods, but is 3 weeks long enough that I should be fully protected, even if I started after my last period had already ended? I've heard different things between a week and a month before they give full protection.

I guess I should be pretty confident I am not pregnant-- we were very careful and bleeding after losing virginity is fairly normal, so these all sound like regular events? If I don't get my period on the sugar pills, when is the earliest I can take a pregnancy test and have it be accurate? They say 5 days before a missed period but the day that we had sex would be around that time, and they also say to wait days after sex for fertilization to take place.

I am sorry for the huge number of questions here, I just don't feel comfortable asking my parents or anyone yet. Again, I'm a pretty nervous person in general and am just hoping for some reassurance from someone who knows what they're talking about Thank you again!

[Heather]

If you experienced pain, that will likely gave been for some reason. In other words, chances are you were hurting yourself. My best advice, moving forward, is if, when trying a certain sexual activity, it feels painful, is not to keep trying it again and again that time. Instead, I would suggest trying something else you know feels good, doing that for a bit, then trying that other thing again if you still want to. Or, try that other thing again another day, having done at least something in advance you know feels good and helps you relax, be that a different kind if sex, something like breathing or meditation to help you chill first. And if you feel like any given activity us something you just feel too anxious to relax while doing, I would suggest first figuring out what you need to feel relaxed doing it before trying to do it more.

Also, using more than a tiny bit of lube. Lubricated condoms have so little lube on them, that really adds nothing to any of this besides just helping a condom not to break. My suggestion is always to err on the side of too much lube rather than too little. After all, it is hard to really have too much, and it is also easy to wipe any excess, when there feels like there is too much, away. In my experience, people more often do not use enough lube with intercourse, rather than using as much as they need or too much.

If you started your pill on day one of a period, or in or before the first Sunday after a period, then the pill usually will be effective within one week. If you started at other times, then one full cycle is the recommended time for folks to use a backup before they figure they have the full effectiveness of the pill.

You may well not have a withdrawal bleed that resembles a period, or periods like you are used to for some time, if ever. For the first few cycles of pills, you may also find you do not get one during the placebo week, but have more random bleeding or spotting at other times. All of that is common for new pill users.

Honestly, unless you are pregnant with the baby Jesus, there is no way on earth you will be pregnant here given how many methods you used. But if you would feel better taking a pregnancy test, you can do that right around the time you skip a period, should that happen. (However, it may well be what you are starting to have right now is your withdrawal bleed, as again, they often will nit be the same as menstrual periods like you are used to.)

I do want to add another debunk here, which is that bleeding after intercourse is actually more the exception than the rule.

What limited study we have on this has shown that more people do NOT have bleeding than those who do. And for those who do, where it is clear it is due to intercourse, not something like oral contraceptives, that seems to mostly be linked to things like not being relaxed enough, not using lubricant, or people being too hasty - like starting intercourse before spending plenty of time with other sexual activities the receptive partner likes and gets off on - or aggressive, or the receptive partner just being too nervous or scared, which makes the vaginal opening and canal much less likely to be flexible.

But again, while the best anyone can do here is make educated guesses, mine is this is actually just a side effect of your pill with sone very coincidental timing, or a combo of that side effect with some spotting from vaginal abrasion.

[s0123]

Okay, thank you so much for your reassurance! That's what I was thinking, that it would be pretty much impossible to get pregnant after all of our caution. I did start my pill a week after my last period had ended (at the recommendation of my doctor, I was pretty unsure about that but she was insistent that I wait). I didn't think it was possible for the withdrawal bleed to happen without the sugar pills since the hormone levels were so constant!

I have one more question... I know that sperm can live inside of the vagina for days after having sex. If I take the sugar pills, will that make me susceptible to fertilization? I know that they don't give the hormones that the real pills do-- does that make it less safe/protected around the days before the sugar pills?

I had not had any spotting or breakthrough bleeding, or any side effects at all really after I started the pill, so I thought that my body must have agreed to them pretty well. If I hadn't started the pill, my period would have been due about 10 days ago. I don't know if any of this actually means anything. Thank you for being so patient with me and giving such good answers-- I know that next time we have sex I will know a lot more about what is going on!

[Heather]

You're welcome.

The pill provides the same level of protection during the placebo week as at other times, so long as you start your next pack on time.

Again, for the first few cycles of pills, it is more common to have side effects, like breakthrough bleeding, than later. Because some did not get any in the first week or two does not mean they will not later - including years later - or that if they do, something us the matter. And people often will not have side effects, or noticeable ones, RIGHT at the gate, because the pill, like SSRIs, for instance, is a cumulative medication, one it takes a while for your body to even start reacting to.

You might also want to know that the pill influences your hormonal cycles in certain ways, it dies not take those over completely. So it is not like the pill alone is orchestrating all of this. Rather, especially when you are new to it, it, and your body as it would function sans pill, both influence things like withdrawal bleeds, not just the pill.

It sound like your doctor may not have given you basic information about the pill when prescribing it, which they really all should do, as with any other medication. Have you looked on our main site for that information so you can have it? If not, I would be happy to give you some relevant links.

[s0123]

Okay, that makes sense. I am hoping that my lack of nasty side effects holds out! I am wondering if it is common/normal to experience a bit of cramping with withdrawal bleeding or "post-sex bleeding" for lack of a better term... they are nowhere near as bad as before I started the pill but I'm starting to feel twinges of cramps now and then. I'm hoping this doesn't mean my hormone levels are not where the pill should put them in order to be protected.

My doctor did give some basic information, but I was also asking a lot of questions and might have forgotten some things. I have been doing a lot of online research, but if you have any helpful links, that would be great!

I am just hoping I get a normal period with the sugar pills so I can completely forget any worries of pregnancy!

[Mo]

These articles will probably be helpful: Combined Oral Contraceptives (The Pill)
How do birth control pills really work, even during the placebo period?

Since you're about to start the placebo pills, the cramps you're feeling may very well be related to your withdrawal bleed; it's common to feel symptoms like cramping with them as you would with your period. We can't know for sure what's causing those cramps, but that's quite likely.

[s0123]

Hello, thank you so much for those links! There is one thing I still don't understand: if every pink pill is the same, why is it normal to get withdrawal bleeding right before taking the white (placebo) pills? Do the pink pills immediately before the placebo pills differ from the other ones to lead the body up to the placebo pills? I've been bleeding for two days now and have a bit of cramping so I'm pretty sure I'm starting the withdrawal bleed, but I just took the first placebo pill an hour ago so I don't understand why it started earlier than that.

[Heather]

I do not know what brand and kind of pill you are using to know if all your active pills are the same. If it is a monophasic pill, they are, but not if it is a biphasic or triphasic pill.

It is most common, once someone has used the pill for a while (remember, this is your first pack, so it is still mist likely ti take a while for your body to get accustomed to it all the way), for withdrawal bleeds to occur with the placebo period. But there will be some variation with that for some, in part, again, because the pill influences your reproductive cycle to behave in certain ways pertaining to the prevention of pregnancy, it does not control it completely or totally overwrite your cycles own script, as it were.

Too, because you did not start your pill in day one of a period or on a Sunday start, it is more likely it will take you longer for your withdrawal bleed to match up with the placebos. People who start at those other times tend to sync up a bit more quickly.