Scarleteen

Long story short, I met a guy on a game, he was super sweet, but also had depression. He said I made him laugh, I made him smile. He said he cared for me more than any of his past girlfriends...so...I realize that I should probably ask my mom for permission to call him. But....I hesitated for a while because she's a little overprotective like that. She thinks that unless you see someone in real life, they could be a bad person. Which is true. I understand. But I've heard his voice before, I've seen him...and he's even given me gifts to help prove his affection for me. And...I tried to keep from becoming close, because I KNEW mom would do this! She's banning me from talking to him unless it's PURELY about the game we play on. Like, just game things. No more free-talk. My birthday is close, and it's caused him to become closer. I thought I could talk to her about it...but my mom won't budge. I couldn't risk to keep on the argument and possibly have her take away my computer altogether.

So, this morning, I had gone onto our chat. He sent me a really long, sweet message for me to wake up to. I almost cried....because I knew what I had to say to him. He was crushed....and now I'm crushed....I don't even want to play that game anymore....I can still talk to him, but not as much as he or I will ever want. It's torture. I'm 15, he's 16...and he once asked me why I was so perfect for him....and it was the sweetest thing. I can't believe that this is even happening...I knew him like I know my other friends, yet my mom refuses to accept that not everyone is a sicko murderer on the internet.

So please, all I need is some support. My mom and dad are....just not available for this right now. And my siblings aren't helpful at all. Any reply would help...suggestions, support...whatever. I feel like a total bitch for doing that to him, and useless for having no power over anything.

I think it is really important to recognize that this was not something that sounded like your choice. This was, instead, you having to do what you did because you are a minor whose choices are limited by the people whose rights effectively trump yours, people who you also have to live with, so managing the level of conflict there is just a thing you need to do, you know?

It is so hard when parents restrict your own relationships, and it feels terrible. I am so sorry for this and how you are feeling right now.

How can we best support you with this?