Scarleteen

I feel as though my life is a mess and nothing I do to stop it is making any difference. I'm acting out and behaving irrationally. It's failing math again (nothing really new, but I'm running out of time to pull up my grade). Despite that, I'm so bored with the status quo of my life. I'm really struggling and I can't really see any clarity.

Hi Love_muffintop,

I;m sorry you're struggling, and that you feel as though there's not much you can control in your life. The first thing I want to ask is: are you currently seeing someone like a therapist, or have you seen one in the past for these types of feelings? I'm also wondering if you could tell me a little more about what being bored with the status quo means to you?

I'm not currently seeing a therapist, but I've talked to my parents about it and we found one. I just haven't gotten to visit her because I'm completely swamped.

That thing about being bored in the status quo is my way of saying I'm so bored with my life. I'm not really feeling enthusiastic about stuff that usually brings me joy.

Okay, so it's sounding like you make the right move with finding a therapist, can you also take the next step in clearing your schedule enough to see them? Even if that means one appointment a week? It can be difficult with busy schedules for sure, but our feeling good in life is very important.

It's really hard trying to clear my schedule. I honestly have felt so sad and lonely, and I have a hard time explaining it to people around me.

Hopefully you can find a time that works out! Your school may have counselors you can talk to, and scheduling a time with someone there may be easier than getting an appointment elsewhere; it could be something to try in the meantime while you're working on securing another appointment.

I haven't been to the therapist yet, Mo. And the counselor at the school is kind of slaw. But I'll likely go to therapy during spring break. Thanks to all of you for commenting--Sam W., Stephanie, and Mo.

Hi love_muffintop,
I'm glad you will be able to go see your therapist during spring break - is that soon for you?

In the coming weeks, Carmen

Might you be able and sit down and make a list for yourself of some good self-care things you can do when you're really struggling -- or not! -- until that time?

In other words, what are you doing to care for yourself now? What else COULD you be doing? I know it's harder to get motivated even for thing like self-care that will make you feel better when you're feeling depressed, which sounds like part of your picture. But even if you can start with some little things you know can or probably would help a little -- like say, stepping outside for a deep breath of fresh air and a view of the sky (especially in beautiful TN where you have such great sky!) -- it can get easier to start doing more and more things with bigger impacts.

I try to take breaks and deep breaths, but I'm feeling well. I'm behaving erratically and I'm going through various mood swings. I know I shouldn't stress myself too much, but I still have responsibilities that I must complete and I sometimes feel as though my mental health gets in the way of my doing what must be done.

How about carrying something with you that brings happy memories. A piece of jewelry or something else small and easy to carry. When you begin to feel like things may get out of control then you hold that item and escape, even if just for a few minutes. Items can be good grounding tools when we are busy and need to keep going. Then take more breaks with you time when you can have them.

Thank you Heather and Stephanie. I'll try harder to do what you suggest, and hopefully things look up for me.

I hope you don't mind my adding in a thought as well. If your feeling like it's a struggle to fit self-care into a busy schedule, some people find it helpful to set and alarm or a reminder. So, you've been working for an hour and a half, alarm goes off and cues you that it's time to do five or ten minutes of self-care. That can help you build self care into all the other things you find yourself needing to do.

I'm functioning barely, but it's the working I'm having trouble with, Sam W. I'm okay with taking breaks, but I have issues with doing work the majority of the time. I'm a serial procrastinator that feels stress overload when I wait too long to do my work. This has been me for the past 9 weeks.

So what about planning some rewarding AFTER you do something that you've been procrastinating. For me it works to do a goals-schedule and plan a reward to celebrate once I finished. It could be something as simply like going for ice-cream if you like desserts. Is this something you think might work for you?

Edith, that's a really good idea that I have done but don't do nearly enough as I should.

Is that strategy that Edith proposed one that works for well for you?
If you haven't read this yet it might also help brainstorm some ways to self-care: Self-Care a La Carte

Yeah Carmen, that works for me. And I shall read the article.

Hey!
Hope it's okay to weigh in - this is something I massively struggle with too, and learning how to set properly achievable goals is what's changed things for me. So, you learn what you can actually manage to do in a day, and plan it, then when you tick those things off you can try to relax. Also, when the list you've set yourself seems like the absolute hardest thing in the world to do, you can remind yourself that it's only small, and that you only need to do one thing at a time, not everything all at once (though it often seems that way).

Ralphie, that is a perfect way to navigate through many of my issues