Advice for when being kind to yourself is hard

[Sam W]

I thought it would be helpful to have a thread where we could share tricks that we've learned for those days when, for whatever reason, you find it hard to be kind or gentle with yourself (giant caveat: this is not meant to substitute for something like seeing a counselor).

One I find that works that surprised me was to think of myself as an animal (I;ve also heard people use "toddler" or best friend). The cutest, most deserving of love animal I can think of. I imagine that animal is feeling the way I'm feeling (scared, hungry, cold, sad) then think of what I would do for it. I find that doing that somehow disrupts the "you are unworthy and deserve to feel only bad things" thoughts when they pop up.

How about y'all?

[doglover]

Affirmations can help. An affirmation is when stating to yourself something good about you. They are often most helpful in the form of an "I" statement. For example, "I am a creative and artistic person" or "I am caring and good at helping other people through tough times." These can be helpful since you are reassuring, and finding, good things about yourself that you may not always recognize. It might feel a little odd at first.

[Ashleah]

Similar to doglover I use affirmations, but I write them down. This isn't something I would typical talk to someone about but still feel the need to get it out. Writing allows me to do that. First I give myself a bit of time to write out what has me feeling crappy. Then I write my affirmations as well as a sort of action plan for what I can in will do if I find myself in a mood with myself again. Having it written down also allows me to go back and see those things, and often time progress.