Scarleteen

I was going throughout my day when I realized some of my actions are motivated by wanting to be closer to girls. I honestly love anticipate going out just to look at pretty girls and think about how one day I'll go out with one. Is this normal? Am I "boy crazy" queer edition?

I hear you saying that you simply feel some sexual or romantic desire for girls, and that you enjoy thinking about that, including thinking about future interactions or relationships you hope to have.

Whatever gender is involved with this, that's no kind of crazy at all. Human beings, near universally, have sexual feelings and desires, and human beings also generally have the desire for intimate relationships with other human beings.

Oh cool, I really thought I was having a mini breakdown about sexuality

Having sexual desires isn't mental illness, I assure you. Just a part of being alive.

Any sense of why you appear to have concerns about common sexual desires being about mental illness? You're voicing concerns about being "crazy" or having breakdowns. Where do you think you're getting that from?

Not so much as crazy, but as confused. Certain things come to the forefront of my mind in sort of random orders. I sometimes get overwhelmed when I start to feel my brain obsessing over these random things.

Hi Love_Muffintop,

Thanks for clarifying that! Do you find that those obsessing thoughts tend to focus on certain areas (like sexuality or dating) or can they be about pretty much anything?

I do, Sam W. Sexuality, loneliness, anxiety, the future, the past, sadness, and anger.

That sounds like it would be really exhausting . Have you ever had the chance to talk to someone like a counselor or therapist about this pattern?

I haven't been able to visit a therapist yet. So much keeps happening in my day to day life. But you're right about the exhaustion.

Hi love_muffintop,

Is seeing a therapist something you might be interested in or want to consider? It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of different things and definitely a lot of daily exhaustion. Are there any other things going on you want to talk about or ask about here? Or maybe discuss some of the ways you can self-care for everything you are dealing with?

Hi Carmen

I've been considering therapy for years. It only became a real option for me a few months ago, but I've not had any time to go. I know I need to prioritize my mental health more, but I have many responsibilities have to do.

That is great is just became an option for you. Getting going on that kind of thing can feel like a lot of work, especially when you have a lot of other stuff going on, but you are right that prioritizing your mental health is important Do you think doing that is something you could do soon?

Hopefully. In between tutoring, my sport, and trying to sleep, I don't really have a whole lot of extra time.

It can definitely be tough when you're busy to figure out a way to carve out some time to see a therapist (or whatever else you need to do to take care of your mental health) but it's usually possible to skip one sports practice session, or rearrange a tutoring schedule for one week, and I can promise you that the world will not come to a screeching halt if you need to do something like that.

You've mentioned before that your parents have helped you find a therapist, it's just the time issue that means you haven't had an appointment yet; do you think you could talk to your parents to figure out how to work an appointment into your schedule? It might be worth checking in with this therapist to see if they do sessions over Skype or the phone, too. Some do and that can make it easier to schedule appointments just because there's no travel time involved.

Karyn, that is a perfect idea and I know sensibly that I need to revamp a schedule for myself, but I just feel no matter what I choose to do on a given afternoon, I'll regret or feel anxiety over not doing a different activity instead.

I hear you, and I get wanting to avoid that regret or anxiety or the feeling that you should have been doing something else. That's just the way life goes sometimes though, you know? Sometimes we will experience those feelings, sometimes we have to make choices where it seems like there is no ideal option, but it is still possible to do whatever we need to do even if it feels uncomfortable at the time. It's not possible - and not actually all that healthy either - to go through life avoiding anything that might be difficult.