Scarleteen

Can I get an STD by using the same intimate cleanser as someone infected?

Cleansers are in bottles, and what's inside the bottle doesn't have contact with someone else's body, so no, this is not a way that sexually transmitted infections are spread.

How a given infection is transmitted depends on the specific infection: all STIs aren't the same and aren't transmitted the same ways. To find out how different infections are transmitted, if you click up top on the "sexual health" section of the site, you'll get to an index that includes listings for all of the most common and current STIs. Each has a concise page of information that includes transmission information.

How have you been doing, by the way?

To be honest, I wish I could say I was better.
When I'm not being anxious over some illogical scenario that might've gotten me pregnant (when I actually manage to convince myself that these scenarios are illogical), I am stressing over the fact of stressing out. Meaning that, I become anxious that I have actually attracted a pregnancy to myself by thinking about it so much (I don't know if you've watched/read "The Secret", which explains "the law of attraction," but that's how my brain is working now.)

So either I'm worried about illogical scenarios (a guy using my shower gel, etc) or I'm worried that I might have become pregnant by attracting it with my mind- because I've been thinking about it so much (the law of attraction). This law says that what you think in your mind will be manifested in reality.

I did read on your site though that "you cannot become pregnant by thoughts or feelings alone, but bodies have to actually do the things that make one happen", and I consistently look back at what you wrote to comfort myself (I know I'm acting maybe obsessively/compulsively, but I can't help it).

I know I should be more serious about finding a psychologist, but every time I maybe get a little bit better, I think I'm ok without one. I have been continuously proven wrong, though.

Also, I used to live in the Netherlands, but I am actually from a quite conservative country where abortion is illegal, which is why I am stressing so much. Although I'm a virgin and the most sexual thing I've done is touching, I can't stop imagining what I would do and how my life would be ruined in case I ever get an unwanted pregnancy (by some weird weird way, as I am not taking any pregnancy risks). This is a really real fear for me that I somehow cannot get over.

From what you're saying here I do think it would be a really good idea to seek out some sort of mental healthcare to help you tackle this anxiety. I understand that it can be hard to feel motivated to get help at points when you're starting to feel better, but maybe you can think of it as regular health maintenance. Mental health issues are, quite often, something that's ongoing rather than situational; managing it is more like managing a chronic health issue than getting over a cold. Even on days when you're feeling great it's good to have a toolkit of anxiety management strategies on hand.

There are strategies you can learn to cope with anxiety better, both in general and when you're feeling overwhelmed by particular anxiety-triggers. When you've had counseling in the past, have you been given any specific tips to help deal with anxiety in the moment, when it's overwhelming you? If not, I think that would be a good focus when you next have someone to talk to. Having some concrete things to do when you're caught in a bad patch of anxiety might be a big help. I have even been given blank anxiety worksheets to keep on hand, and while I felt a little silly the first time I filled one out during an anxiety attack, the process was indeed super helpful.