Scarleteen

So, I recently got out of a long distance relationship with someone online. I can honestly say, I fell for this woman. It was perfect to me, despite all of our issues. I really thought I found someone special, basically we had a fight on Valentines day when I accused her of not caring simply because we could go days at times without speaking. It was kinda out of line for me to even go there, but I was simply stating how I felt.

We never came back properly from that, I gave her time and space when she asked for it. As she needed to think over things, basically had to hear stuff from her friends about me leaving her be. Which I did so. We were able to speak normally again for a short period of time, but in the back was the looming point of that I didn't know if I was with her anymore.

She always stated that we were cool, even when we broke up weeks later. But we barely spoke, and even when we did it didn't feel right. I was basically always making the effort, and despite saying she was over it. She was acting like it was still bothering her, we both agreed to always be friends at the least. And I tried my hardest to build a friendship again.

A couple of weeks ago, she basically cut me out for good. Explaining how exes can't be friends, how people have helped her realize things and maybe some people just aren't meant to be friends/lovers. Since we didn't talk at all anymore, I got tired of trying with her. And maybe that was my downfall, we both should've made the effort.

We spoke last night, merely only for her to apologize for her friend starting an argument with me. I'm kinda mad at that too, she's giving me hope that eventually we can be friends again. Like what do you guys think?

Given time apart, is there a chance she'll come back? Is there a chance we can be friends at least? That's all I ever wanted you know, it hurts having to get over someone you love like this. And with the added point of being cut out completely, it sucks. I don't want to be the one to message her in the future, however if I was to do so. How long should I leave it? I'm not a bad person for holding out hope that one day me and her can be friends am I? I wanted that more than anything.

While we can't know what will happen in your particular case, it certainly is possible for people to be friends after a romantic relationship has ended. What is often a very important component of this happening, though, is taking some time - at least weeks, if not months - apart to readjust before trying to do a lot of work at building up a friendship. It can help for both parties to get some space to process the relationship and think about how they might want to structure a friendship in the future. If you'd rather not be the one to reach out in the future, that's fine, but if she decides not to take the initiative in reaching out to you then it's something you'll have to accept. There's really not a specific amount of time that's proper; it's a little different for everyone. I think it's fine to hold out hope, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to stay friends with her, but if it does happen the process will likely take time.

For some general info on surviving breakups, you may find this article helpful: Getting Through a Breakup Without Actually Breaking