Partner doesn't completely stop when I say stop?

[consentquery]

I'm seeing a new guy and we just started having sex. He's very considerate and attentive, especially when it comes to giving oral, which I appreciate. But there's a problem. After I have an orgasm I'm SUPER sensitive, to the point where having my clit touched at all makes me jump and is almost painful. So after I come I tell him to stop. And he does...sort of. He'll stop actively going down on me, but he'll still lightly kiss or lick me, and I sometimes have to tell him again to stop.

I think his intentions are good, but it makes me uncomfortable that he doesn't stop immediately and completely when I tell him to. Should I be worried that he does this? How can I make it clearer that being touched any more at that point is uncomfortable rather than pleasurable?

[Sam W]

Hi Consentquery,

It sounds like you're already giving some clear signals to him, especially if this has happened more than once. However, it sounds like it's worth to, if you haven't already, make it clear before you even start having sex that once you orgasm any contact is painful. If he continues to ignore you after that, that's a sign that something bigger might be up

[Redskies]

Enlarging a bit on what Sam's said, have you already said to him exactly what you've said here to us? If not, I'd suggest bringing this up with him at a time where you and he aren't having any sexual interaction: that tends to make things less loaded and make sure that everyone's attention is fully on the communication itself. I think that what you've written here would be a clear-as-crystal, helpful and considerate way of telling a partner your wishes and boundaries.

If you have already said this to him and he's continuing to do the same thing? Then yes, something is up with what he's doing that's worth being concerned about.

Do you need any help in having the conversation, or if you've had it already, do you want to talk more about where you go from here?