I also wanted to address the part where you said you'd had pain while having sex. By "sex", I'm guessing you mean intercourse, but please let me know if I got that wrong! (When we - and other sex educators and sexual healthcare providers - say "sex", we mean a whole lot of other things besides intercourse: have a look at
What's Sex?.)
There's still a lot of messages from the world that say that it's normal for intercourse to be painful, or for some of our first experiences of intercourse to be painful. That's not actually true! Pain during intercourse is a signal that something isn't quite right, and finding and addressing the thing that isn't right solves the pain. For most people, pain during intercourse is because of one or a combination of:
- not already being really turned on and keen to have sex with entry before starting entry
- not having had enough time of other kinds of stimulation that feel very good
- feeling nervous or anxious
- not using extra lubrication, or enough extra lube
Do any of those seem like they might have been the case when you were having pain?
When someone with a vagina is aroused, the vagina relaxes and opens up. That's necessary for entry to feel comfortable and pleasurable. The vagina is a muscle, so if someone's tense, the vagina will probably also tense up and make entry more difficult and painful. And lube is everyone's friend: without enough lube, there's too much friction, and that's usually uncomfortable and painful.
If you'd like, we have lots more info in
From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse