I'm writing because I have a concern that seems to be without any comfortable solution. Basically, I'm wondering if I'm looking at this situation the right way, or putting too much pressure on it. In short, I'm in my 20s, living in NYC, attending graduate school, and working part-time to help support that. As the summer approaches, classes will end and I'll be doing a paid internship that is almost full-time. (It will help me to cover my rent). I'm also balancing a lost-distance relationship along with the costs/time that entails.
Obviously, there's a lot going on. I didn't necessarily intend for things to be this packed, but that's how it's happened. With the economic climate, where I'm living, and the quality of work I want to do, I really don't leave a lot of free time. However, that's not central the problem. I haven't seen my parents since Christmas, and I miss them terribly. I visited them at home in Florida for both Thanksgiving and Christmas of 2015. And before that, I flew to see them at least 3 times during the earlier part of the year. I've always made a huge effort to clear my schedule and travel to them. But lately, I'm feeling exhausted by that prospect. Thing is, they've only visited me once since I moved to NY state in late 2013. Granted, my mother's father fell ill around the time that I moved away from home. So my mother was thrust into the position of caregiver, helping her parents settle into an assisted living facility, dealing with the eventual death of my grandfather, etc.
Because of this terrible situation, I've tried to compensate for her seeming inability to travel. I understand that she's incredibly burdened. But it's getting to the point where I feel like our lives need to resume some level of normalcy, and that my parents should come visit. For reasons unspecified, my parents refuse to fly, which further complicates the issue. Thus, whenever they consider travel plans, they're forced to block off much larger chunks of time than they would with, say, a flight itinerary. Yet they still take mini-roadtrip vacations from time to time--just not to see me. It's always very touch and go. One time, my mother said to me, "Well, we'd rather not visit New York in the winter." For them, it's an issue of convenience. For me, it's a choice between traveling and seeing them, or not seeing them at all.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't getting resentful. My parents always help pay for my flights home, which is a godsend. But the burden of scheduling and transit always falls to me. I've had a hellish Fall and Spring semester. I've been wrestling with very serious depression/anxiety issues in addition to the regular demands of moving and school. It's been a lot to deal with, and I just want to see them without bending over backwards.
Even if this issue doesn't get resolved right away, I'm already in the process of scheduling a three-day weekend to see them next month. So it's not hopeless in that sense. But I feel like this needs to change in an overall sense. I've brought it up with my parents on several occasions, and they always respond with this air of helplessness, as if the world was entirely unpredictable and they can't discern, even remotely, what will happen over the course of next month or two. They seem to feel bad about it--but not enough to take any kind of different action. Please advise
I'm getting kind of desperate.Thanks for reading.