the shakes
Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 1:24 pm
Hi again, Scarleteen! It's been a blissfully long time since I felt I needed to post.
In that time, I've really found my place at uni and for the most part I'm happy.
A lot of weird stuff has gone down with The Ex too. (A true standout was when a friend asked to go sit with me instead of The Ex, The Ex said that was "kind of a dick move". Sat and stewed by himself for a while before coming up to our seat, where I was sitting with two friends and a parent of one of the friends, to tell me I was cruel, emotionally blackmailing, and all my friends were scared of me. At this point one of my friends spoke up "Dude, I'm pretty sure I'm NOT scared of her." Eventually the parent kind of told him to go away, so he sat within easy view of us on the ferry and began crying. I wish I was making this up. It sounds like a script more than a thing that could actually happen to someone). But mostly, I haven't seen him. The problem is that when I do, it seems like my anxious progress has been regressing? I got to a point where it was almost fine, but now I start shaking heavily again, and get nightmares where we're fighting for the next couple nights after the event. I just want this headspace back. I was wondering if you had any suggestions on what I could do? A friend suggested staring him down (using that scary Scorpio gaze
) while kind of projecting in my head "see this? u lost alla dis." But I want to know if that idea has any merit / if there are other things I can do to help cope. I don't even hate the guy any more. I just want bygones to be bygones. He did some stupid, mean shit and so have I. It doesn't have any impact on my life anymore other than the weird head stuff.
In that time, I've really found my place at uni and for the most part I'm happy.
A lot of weird stuff has gone down with The Ex too. (A true standout was when a friend asked to go sit with me instead of The Ex, The Ex said that was "kind of a dick move". Sat and stewed by himself for a while before coming up to our seat, where I was sitting with two friends and a parent of one of the friends, to tell me I was cruel, emotionally blackmailing, and all my friends were scared of me. At this point one of my friends spoke up "Dude, I'm pretty sure I'm NOT scared of her." Eventually the parent kind of told him to go away, so he sat within easy view of us on the ferry and began crying. I wish I was making this up. It sounds like a script more than a thing that could actually happen to someone). But mostly, I haven't seen him. The problem is that when I do, it seems like my anxious progress has been regressing? I got to a point where it was almost fine, but now I start shaking heavily again, and get nightmares where we're fighting for the next couple nights after the event. I just want this headspace back. I was wondering if you had any suggestions on what I could do? A friend suggested staring him down (using that scary Scorpio gaze
) while kind of projecting in my head "see this? u lost alla dis." But I want to know if that idea has any merit / if there are other things I can do to help cope. I don't even hate the guy any more. I just want bygones to be bygones. He did some stupid, mean shit and so have I. It doesn't have any impact on my life anymore other than the weird head stuff.