Scarleteen

Hey!

So recently I saw some really great stuff on twitter under the #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou hashtag which I thought promotes a really important ongoing conversation about all the non-physical ways abuse can happen in relationships. It also made me think about how hurting someone and unhealthy patterns (even not yet abusive ones) can accumulate in relationships, and we don't see the signs when we don't communicate directly because of a bias that just sees harm as being physical.

I've been trying to be a lot more direct in my communication and it has been such a good thing for me. I just wish I'd found it easier earlier.

Has anyone had any major learning experiences when it comes to passive communication?

Just grabbing the first thing that came up about passive communication on google:

PASSIVE COMMUNICATION is a style in which individuals have developed a pattern of avoiding expressing their opinions or feelings, protecting their rights, and identifying and meeting their needs. As a result, passive individuals do not respond overtly to hurtful or anger-inducing situations.

(from uky.edu)

As you can see there isn't much room for expressing what you want or are frustrated about (things which will always pop up in relationships) so it's pretty common for bits of aggression get into the wording and communication can become passive-aggressive, or someone can just be trapped with all their difficult feelings. Both of which are pretty unhappy options.