Feel like I'm giving more in the relationship than he is

[therailtracer]

Hi, I've been dating a guy for 5 months now and things always go great for us...when we're together. When we're not together, my bf seems very distant and less caring than I am. I am always the one to make plans and care about his problems. Im also very flexible to change my schedule in order to hang out for the week but he isn't. The strange thing is that when we're hanging out together he is very loving and interested. I guess I just don't get it. Am I being too needy?

[Sam W]

Hi therailtracer,

I wouldn't say you're being needy. It's okay to want the other person to do things that signal "yep, still interested in dating you." It sounds like there may be a mismatch in terms of what you're both expecting from this relationship and how you think the work (for lack of a better word) of the relationship should be distributed. Have you brought up your feelings about this directly with him? If not, that would be the place to start.

There are some other things to consider as well. In terms of contact (texting, calls) who initiates? And what do you think would happen if for a period of time, let's say a week, you weren't as flexible in your schedule, or weren't able to arrange plans (for example, say it's exams week at school)?