Can you record a brief video of yourself talking about how Scarleteen has helped you? We're looking for clips for a fundraising video in the new year, and we'd love to have you involved! You can find out more, including how and where to upload your video, here: Scarleteen’s Project For Awesome 2025 submission! Our deadline for these is December 23rd 2024!

Self care

When you want support through something scary or rough, and help pulling yourself together and getting through, this is the place.
Forum rules
We ask that users looking for general, ongoing emotional support post in this area of the boards, and that you use this space to both ask for, give and receive that support primarily from each other, rather than from our staff and volunteers. As a staff, we simply are often too overextended with all we need to do in running the organization and its services to do that for extended periods of time, and one of our main aims of our community at the boards has always been to facilitate peers to better be there for each other.

Users often report that they have no in-person peers they can talk to or seek support from: we want this to be a space for online peer support and somewhere everyone can get some practice asking for, getting and giving support so that doing it with people in your lives feels more doable.

Please remember that neither staff, volunteers nor your fellow users can provide or replace mental healthcare when that is something you need. Users struggling with issues like anxiety, depression, abuse or physical health issues are strongly encouraged to seek out qualified, in-person help with those issues in addition to peer or staff support.
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Dandelion
not a newbie
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2015 11:50 pm
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: Creativity
Primary language: English
Pronouns: her/she
Sexual identity: Bisexual female
Location: United States

Self care

Unread post by Dandelion »

So I have been through so much in this past weekend. And anyway a counselor I got to talk to told me to care for myself this week. The problem is I don't quite remember how.

So I was curious of what ways do you guys practice self care or recommend?
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Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Self care

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi dandelion,

To start off, these two pieces are helpful when you're looking for self-care. The first is mostly ideas, the second is a reminder that sometimes self-care requires us to do things that are a little difficult:
Self-Care a La Carte
Self-Care When It's Scary

As far as other recommendations go, I always encourage people to have multiple forms of self-care under their belt. That way, when one type doesn't seem to be working, you can try something else. I also recommend having your self-care strategies do a variety of things. So some are relaxing (coloring, a bath, meditation), some are creative (drawing, writing, knitting) and some are active (going for a walk, going to the gym, swimming). That helps you customize your self-care to match the needs of a given day. Make sense?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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Dandelion
not a newbie
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2015 11:50 pm
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: Creativity
Primary language: English
Pronouns: her/she
Sexual identity: Bisexual female
Location: United States

Re: Self care

Unread post by Dandelion »

Makes completely sense thanks you. I express myself through painting and poetry. My eating habits are my main concern.
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Carmen
not a newbie
Posts: 177
Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2015 1:25 pm
Age: 28
Awesomeness Quotient: disco dancing on roller skates
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Location: United States

Re: Self care

Unread post by Carmen »

Hi Dandelion,

I am so sorry about all that you have been through this past week and weekend. I am glad you are taking time to take care of yourself and that painting and poetry are forms of self care that work for you :)
What about your eating habits are you concerned about?
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Dandelion
not a newbie
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2015 11:50 pm
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: Creativity
Primary language: English
Pronouns: her/she
Sexual identity: Bisexual female
Location: United States

Re: Self care

Unread post by Dandelion »

Ever since the abuse ended I've had this need to have control. Food was my way of having control. As in, I simply won't eat. Not because I think Im fat but I see food as something that controls me that I can control. Right now, I'm doing okay I guess. My friend's mom told me to think of my body as a small child that needs nourishment and I wouldn't deprive it of food. It's been helping me eat at least once a day. But, I know me and it's only a matter of time before that mindset will wear. Also, summer is coming in less than 2 weeks. Which means no school, no routine. I once lost 60 pounds over a summer from not eating. I'm just worried.
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Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Self care

Unread post by Sam W »

I'm sorry that's something you've been having to deal with. I know we've discussed accessing mental health care in the past. Are you currently seeing a counselor or therapist who you could talk to about the issues you've been having with eating/food?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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Dandelion
not a newbie
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2015 11:50 pm
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: Creativity
Primary language: English
Pronouns: her/she
Sexual identity: Bisexual female
Location: United States

Re: Self care

Unread post by Dandelion »

My friend's mom is willing to counsel me. She's a few months from being certified.
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Carmen
not a newbie
Posts: 177
Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2015 1:25 pm
Age: 28
Awesomeness Quotient: disco dancing on roller skates
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Location: United States

Re: Self care

Unread post by Carmen »

Hi again,
Thank sounds like a great potential resource - have you reached out recently to follow up with her about starting to do that?
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Dandelion
not a newbie
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2015 11:50 pm
Age: 24
Awesomeness Quotient: Creativity
Primary language: English
Pronouns: her/she
Sexual identity: Bisexual female
Location: United States

Re: Self care

Unread post by Dandelion »

Yes. I'm talking to her tomorrow morning about meeting next week.

My substitute science teacher also is giving me her contact info so we can stay in touch and can talk over summer. She was the teacher I told. I trust her.
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Karyn
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 1407
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 3:00 pm
Age: 40
Awesomeness Quotient: I collect condoms.
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Canada

Re: Self care

Unread post by Karyn »

It's great that you have a couple of different sources of in-person support. I'm glad your teacher is willing to keep in touch with you over the summer if you need it.
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
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