Scarleteen

heavyboots asks:
I will be a junior in high school next year, and because I've been lucky to stumble on a lot of really great sex-positive resources, I've learned I have a pretty strong interest in sexuality--as in, studying it/doing something in it as a career. However, getting information about this field is much more difficult than, say, engineering or law. What are jobs within this field, what are areas in college/majors you'd advise, and what are some ways I can get involved now, as a minor? My areas of interest are not really in the medical field--I'm more interested in counseling, giving advice, activism, and education.

Also, do you have any advice for telling people about my interest? Right now the only person who knows is my boyfriend, because it's really difficult for me to trust most other people to not equivocate wanting to study sexuality with being obsessed with having sex. Esp my parents, who are politically liberal in every way except in their parenting. They ask me what I want to do with my life really often, and it's kinda stressful to not be able to talk to them.

Sam W replies:
Hello Me-from-the-past, I'm glad to see you discovered a means of asking questions of your future self.

I kid, but believe me when I say that your questions strike a chord with anyone who's found themselves drawn towards sex and sexuality based professions (for the purposes of this articles, I'll use sex ed as shorthand for all of these jobs, but know that I'm including work such as counseling and activism under that heading). Because wanting to spend your days working with and thinking about sex and sexuality is not a desire that comes with a clear path stretching out before it.

This lack of a clear path is both awesome and terrible. On the one hand, it means that people can come into sex education and related fields from all walks of life, and it means that taking a slight detour doesn't mean giving up on the path entirely. On the other hand, it can leave people who are just getting started in the field feeling completely lost. So, while I can't guarantee what your path forward looks like, I can give you some advice on how to get a clearer sense of it.

The first step is to figure out two things: what you're passionate about and what you're good at. When I refer to passion, I mean the causes, the ideas, the issues that get your mind whirring. The ones that even on the most mundane or stressful day you still feel, deep down, that there's nothing else you'd rather work on. Those feelings are your compass. They can point you in the direction that's right for you.

They're also helpful because jobs like activist, or educator, are actually really, really broad categories. So working the particular areas of sexuality that interest you can help you narrow down the goal you want to strive for. What are you really interested in? Pregnancy counseling? Fighting rape culture? Figuring out the answer to that question can help head off the "too many choices" anxiety that you might be feeling, and also help you work out a more concrete answer to the question "what do you want to do."

Working out what you're good at is also going to help you narrow down what you'd like to do. Now, I believe that most people can learn most skills, so even if you find that there's something that you have no clue how to do that's important to the line of work you pursue, all is not lost. Plus, you're young, so you're in the process of learning where your particular talents lie.

But, that being said, we all have our strengths and weaknesses. Let those be your guide as well. Are you a good writer? Then maybe you want to look at professions that involve a lot of writing educational or promotional materials. Do you excel at organizing events, or fostering community? Then maybe fundraising and outreach is more your style. Are you adept at debating or working through arguments? Then maybe advocacy related to the politics of sex is something to check out. You get the idea. Looking at career paths that play to your strengths will help you figure out what types of jobs allow you to use the skills you have to help the causes you care about.

Once you have a sense of what you'd like to explore, the next step is to look for some volunteer work in that area. A lot of sex positive or sex ed organizations rely on volunteer labor to make them go, so there should be at least a few options for you to choose from. Do some research and find out if there are any organizations (like Planned Parenthood or similar) in your area that you're interested in working with, and find out what their volunteer process is.

If you don't live in an area that has very many resources on the ground, some organizations (like Scarleteen) are structured so that volunteers can do their work online. You'll also want to consider your own schedule and commitments. If you're someone with a packed schedule, you may need to find a place that has flexible volunteer hours. If you have more free time, places with more structured, regular hours might be more up your alley.

Once you get settled into a position, take advantage of working with folks who have been doing this for longer than you have. Ask them questions about their experiences, ask for advice, ask them about what they'd wish they'd known when they were first starting out. When you're an adult working in a niche field, finding a young person who wants to carry on what you do into the next generation is always heartening. So odds are they'll be more than happy to talk with you. You may not find everything they say helpful, and you may not always agree with them. But you're learning about the dynamics of the field and the experiences you might have while working in it, and that can be invaluable info later on...