Scarleteen

So, right before I turned 14 I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and put on Lexapro and Trazadone. Over the years, Welbutrin was added to that mix. Now, I'm nearly 22 and over the past 8 years I've discovered that it's really, really, really difficult for me to orgasm. As in basically impossible. Of course, I've never had a significant other and I'm still a virgin so all of my attempts have been through masturbation and self-exploration (which, as I identify as female and possess a vaginia and all accompanying sexual and secondary sexual organs, I found to be difficult anyway because no one teaches this stuff). Basically, it's like I hit this wall. There's build up and tension and all those good feelings that go along with it, but then those feelings will reach a point where they can't go anywhere and they just stop. And it's so, so unsatisfactory. Masturbation has been like this for me as long as I remember and the limited research I've done (since I'm too embarrassed this discuss this with my therapist or psychiatrist) has pointed in the direction of my medications perhaps making orgasm difficult/impossible. I even came across one person who said their lexapro inhibited their orgasms for life, which is just unfair.

Basically, I'm wondering if anyone else has experience with this problem? Granted, since I don't think I've ever had an orgasm I don't know how one feels so maybe I am having them and they're just. Really bad and not all they're cracked up to be? But I highly doubt that. But I digress. If anyone has advice or experience with this sort of thing, I'd greatly appreciate it because right now I'm frustrated and at wit's end.

Two questions for you first, if you don't mind:

1) Before you were 14 and started on these, was any of this any different for you?
2) Have you brought this to your prescribing physician yet? If so, what did they say?

1) honestly I don't know? I can't remember since it was so long ago and I was definitely even more confused about anything sexual back then so I tended just to avoid it.

2) No, I'm too embarrassed to even just admit I masturbate which is silly granted that it's one of those things everyone does etc etc but it's just immensely personal to me and I just can't bring myself to broach the topic with her.

Hi Tenaciousbee,

I would say then that the first step is to talk to physician who put you on these. It can be embarrassing to talk to someone about sex, but doctors are used to it. Too, sexual side effects are know to be connected to antidepressants, so this is unlikely to be shocking information for them to hear (the same goes for therapists or psychiatrists). More than that, if this is something you want addressed, this conversation is almost inevitable, and it's one of the quickest ways to make adjustments to your treatment regime.

(That's not to say you can't have a satisfying sex life, solo or partnered, without orgasms. You totally can! But if this is bothering you, it's worth seeing if some adjustments can be made)