Scarleteen

Hi, so I'm going through a pretty difficult time right now & really need some advice & a lot of consoling. Okay so here's my story: I've been dating my boyfriend since our freshman year of high school. He's been my first love, we took away each other's virginities, & we've been through a lot of things together. We've been dating for about 3 in a half years & we're are both going away for our first year of college. We're going to two different schools that are six hours apart from each other. We both know that our time during the summer together is quickly going by & last night I kind of spilt my feelings to him over text message. I told him I didn't want to break up with him even though we're going off to school & would love to continue the relationship that we have. But, he texted me back saying that he really loved me but would rather talk in person about his feelings instead of through text. Which made me worry.. What if he wants to break up? For the first time in three in half years, I would be without him. It's a really scary thought. I know we're young & have our whole lives ahead of us, but I still feel all these feelings for him & don't want to let him go. I don't know what to do & just really need some advice please.

Hi Tooworry,

Adjusting to a long distance relationship, especially when it's accompanied by another major life change (like going away to college), can be really difficult. For some people that difficulty is simply too much, and they decide to end the relationship. If that's the case with your boyfriend, it doesn't mean that he doesn't care for you or that the relationship you two had was a failure. It just means that he's hit a point where he thinks it would be better to end it. You may not feel that way, but if he does that likely means the relationship is going to end.

However, it sounds like you haven't had that talk with him yet, so right now this is all speculation. What I'd suggest is that you start preparing yourself for the different outcomes that conversation might have. One of which is breaking up. Which is very likely going to suck for you, but is an outcome you need to plan for. These two articles can help you plan for both the break-up and the long distance outcomes: Getting Through a Breakup Without Actually Breaking
Going the Distance: A Few Thoughts on Long-Distance Relationships