Scarleteen

I am extremely betrayed and hurt. Yesterday, I was on my boyfriend's phone (he knew I was on it) and found naked photos of me that I did NOT give consent for. We've been together for 5 years and have never had any issues or problems like this. I am completely floored. I broke up with him because I felt like my body was violated and my trust was broken. He apologized profusely, begged me to forgive him, claimed that he knew it was wrong and he had no idea what came over him, told me there was no excuse for what he did and he was utterly and completely sorry. I know he was being genuine, but I really feel betrayed. He claims he did it because I was leaving for 6 weeks for a summer internship and he was going to miss me. Still, I broke it off and he packed his stuff and left this morning. I'm feeling conflicted because part of me really knows what he did was wrong to the core, especially since I am a working towards being a sex educator and I always talk about consent, but at the same time we were together for 5 years and never had any issues like this. Some of my friends say that I was too harsh...

Hi dmimima,

First off, I'm really sorry that he did this to you - that's absolutely a violation of your trust and not ok, and it's understandable that you'd feel betrayed. I certainly don't think breaking up with him because of this is too harsh and I'm sorry your friends are saying that it was. How can we best support you right now?

dmimima,
In this situation, in my opinion, you should value your own judgement. Your friends may think you were too harsh, but if the question is whether or not you have done the right thing for yourself, your mental health, then you are the only one who can determine that. One way to look at this is to say, okay, if you were 'too harsh' then you didn't do enough to value your boyfriend's feelings, emotional health, ego, etc.
You are the one whose trust was betrayed. Your feelings and well-being should be a priority.
Nobody knows the future; if you want to resume your relationship with him later on that is your business but I think that the you of the present will benefit from the break you initiated.