Scarleteen

So my boyfriend(17) and I(16) have been dating for 7 months. We started having sex at 3 and 1/2 months of dating. His mom is very protective of him and is kinda strict about sex. She asks if we are having sex to him and he answers with a no. My parents know we have been having sex since we had sex the first time because I don't like the feeling of them not knowing. I want my boyfriend's parents to know, but he keeps saying how "it will ruin everything" and "we won't have as much freedom with hanging out"... I don't like feeling like we are sneaking around!!! But i love having sex with him.
I told him we weren't going to have sex if he can't tell his parents... But that didn't work...
My mom also says "don't tell his mom she won't let you hang out" but my mom is awful with advice......
Help!!!!

Hi MNHAPPY,

If your boyfriend is not comfortable telling his parents about being sexually active, there's not really a way you can make him do it. Plus, it sounds like he has some reasonable concerns about them putting restrictions on your relationship if he does tell them, which puts a point in the "don't tell" column. It is worth noting that you may not be able to conceal it from them even if he wants to. There's no way to guarantee they won't find out.

The next step needs to be a conversation between the two of you about this. If you're not comfortable having sex without his parents being aware of what you're doing and he's not comfortable telling them, then you need to work out a compromise where you're both comfortable. Talk about what you're both concerned about. For instance, what makes you feel uncomfortable about "sneaking around?"