Trouble with climaxing

[kris5016]

Hello, I'm a 17 year old male and me and my girlfriend recently started have sexual intercourse. We have previously done oral and I was never able to orgasm so I thought that vaginal sex might be the answer. I'm able to orgasm fairly quickly through masturbation but both oral and vaginal sex just didn't do that much for me. My penis felt numb and I didn't get a lot of pleasure out of either. It did feel good, just not the amazing sensation I had expected. Finally I'm not sure if this has any relevance but I am not circumsized but I wouldn't expect that to play a roll. My question: is there anything medically wrong with me? Thanks

[Sam W]

Hi Kris,

We're not able to tell is something medical is up, but the most likely answer is no, especially since you seem to be able to orgasm without difficulty when masturbating. When you're with your partner, do the two of you communicate about what motions or positions seem to feel the best? One thing you might try (if you haven't already) is to show your partner what types of motions seem to feel best to you. It can also help to keep in mind that masturbation (either with a toy or a hand) is likely going to feel a little different from partnered sex, which might explain some of what you're feeling.

I would also say that often, trouble with orgasm is linked to your level of arousal in the situation. When you're engaging in these activities, are you feeling pretty aroused and into what's going on?

[Heather]

I'd also ask how relaxed you have felt during these partnered activities, since that can play a big part in getting aroused and in how things feel.

And, just so we have this in the mix from the start, I want to make clear that there is no one -- or more than one - sexual activity that feels amazing to everyone, or amazing all the time. What we find we like and don't and feels good and doesn't tends to vary around as much as people's experiences with what they do and don't enjoy eating.