He wont cum ! why ?!

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girlyprob
not a newbie
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Jul 10, 2016 3:42 pm
Age: 30
Awesomeness Quotient: im sincere
Primary language: Albania , English to
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Sexual identity: doesnt matter
Location: Kosovo

He wont cum ! why ?!

Unread post by girlyprob »

hello guys its me again ,that conv. we had before couple weeks really helped me clear some things out with my bf. and yes i got back with him finally he accepts me as i am (at least for now ! ) .. What i want to ask u this time is about few things .. so i read a post when a girl couldnt make his bf cum , he only came after he masturbated but that wasnt always like that so she did make her cum before but not anymore !! anyways .. before we had sex me and my bf opened up about sex talk and he told me that he only came once in his life with a girl but not with others , i didnt believe him at first it sounded rly fullish for my guy not to cum live with me but cum when i talk dirty to him and send him pictures through social networks while he was masturbating wtf! wen he lost my virg. still didnt expect him tu cum actually didnt think of that really at first , till now we did it like only 3 times .. he didnt came for those 3 times allthough he was super horny i could tell i really did what he loved doing with me i said 'no' to nothing and ofc. i did it with my pleasure as well and i liked it .. is there by any chance that he doesnt have feelings for me since he doesnt cum cuz i cant find another reason .. i mean we didnt stop havin sex for hours , he always keeps me near him and he always talk to me how much he likes me and having sex with me but in the end neither of us didnt cum we tried a lot of ways to please each other i dont understand this + he says it often even when we text that he loves sex with me and cant wait for the next time , so that means his sexually attracted to me right?! .. and yes another question is it possible for him to ejaculate in me and neither of us notice it cuz weve been doin unprotected sex !

thank so much for the support ure the best advice site kk
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
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Location: Chicago

Re: He wont cum ! why ?!

Unread post by Heather »

I'm glad you were able to stand up for yourself and have that talk. :)

Here's the thing: how someone feels about a person emotionally isn't always reflected in how they respond sexually. And what does or doesn't bring someone to orgasm isn't usually about that.

So, someone can love a person but not reach orgasm or ejaculate during intercourse, for example. Someone can love a person but only be able to reach orgasm by masturbating, even. What works or doesn't work for people in this regard sexually just isn't all about a partner or their feelings for a partner: it's more about them and their own unique bodies than anything else. Does that make sense to you?

(I am concerned you have been having unprotected sex, from a sexual health standpoint, especially since this partner doesn't have the best track record of being someone emotionally healthy in their interactions with you. So, can I just check in with you: if you're not using a method of birth control, is a pregnancy something you want that seems like a good idea for you anytime soon? Too, has your partner been tested for STIs recently to assure you're not taking big risks when it comes to sexually transmitted infections?)
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
girlyprob
not a newbie
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Jul 10, 2016 3:42 pm
Age: 30
Awesomeness Quotient: im sincere
Primary language: Albania , English to
Pronouns: i dont mind
Sexual identity: doesnt matter
Location: Kosovo

Re: He wont cum ! why ?!

Unread post by girlyprob »

Yes it does makes sense thanks ... pregnancy is not my main thing right now but i trust him he wouldnt risk this much either , yesterday i got my periods so thumbs up for that its cool !i was afraid of him ejaculate in me without knowing but its way more than okey now ... as for stiS neither me or him didnt take a test but im counting on gods will that he is healthy , after all i know his sex life before me and if he knew he was sick or smthg he wouldnt do it with me ! maybe im stupid to trust this much but hope for good !!
Karyn
previous staff/volunteer
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Location: Canada

Re: He wont cum ! why ?!

Unread post by Karyn »

Trust, unfortunately, doesn't protect anyone from STIs, and trusting someone doesn't tell you anything about their health. Plenty of STIs often don't have symptoms, so testing really is the only way to know for sure that someone doesn't have any STIs, and consistent use of barriers (condoms and dental dams) is the only way to prevent them.

Per pregnancy, withdrawal ('pulling out') does reduce the risk, but it isn't the most effective form of birth control, so if a pregnancy is something you feel you absolutely couldn't deal with right now, then I would really encourage you to look into another more reliable method. If you want, we can talk through the different options and narrow it down to a few that sound good to you.
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
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