Scarleteen

Posted: **Tue Sep 09, 2014 10:09 am**

One of the strategies many folks use for self-care is reading, since it can offer a distraction and also be soothing. So, I'm curious to know what y'all recommend as good books to read when you're feeling in need of some comfort (audio books count as well).

One series I find really good for this purpose is the Moomintroll books by Tove Jansson. They're kind of weird and a little bit old-fashioned, but they're deeply soothing and often very funny or sweet (I'd try Finn Family Moomintroll first, if you've never read it). I also find picture books work well, because they're often deliberately goofy or written to help kids soothe or navigate stressful emotions.

Posted: **Wed Sep 10, 2014 3:02 am**

Hey great topic!

I started writing this thinking you meant books that informed self-care instead of what you really meant, i.e. books read for the purpose of self care.

Anyhow this is what I started saying:

This is an odd suggestion from me, because frankly I completely disagreed with the politics of the author but somehow despite being totally wrong about the theory (evolutionary psychology ugh!) I found the advice and passages about anger really really helpful: The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilbert. There are quite a few books about self-compassion and mindfulness so there is probably some way better options, this is just the one my therapist recommended.

Other books that came in handy at the time: The Prophet by Khalil Gibran was my mum's book and I found it really useful in terms of accepting hard bits of life as part of life and appreciating our own struggle as part of a greater thing rather than personal failings. It's basically a bunch of short poems on specific topics, death, parenthood, love, pain etc etc. I guess the nicest thing about it is just the tone, rhythm it just feels so lovingly written that reading it feels like self-care. That said I haven't read since my teens so I could be missing something. I think the best passage for me was about love "For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning." because until that time, I felt a lot of guilt around not sorting my life out, and that I had some responsibility to have perfect relationships and by being hurt I was doing something wrong, so this was the first time I read a more compassionate take on the benefits of having been hurt, and that the growth/pruning is a positive process happening to me, rather than a failure/success of relationships.

But my pleasure reads I guess tend to be something I don't do enough... I really like design so stuff like 'the grammar of ornament' (although I haven't got a decent edition of it yet) is really nice just browsing through different patterns and geometry. Also really like Ed Gorey so silly macabre/absurd limmericks and pen & ink drawings, plus Where the Wild things Are. Also messy bedrooms in apartamento magazine. I think just seeing the craft of illustrations make it for me... I haven't read Roald Dahl in ages, but part of me feels that would fall into the same category.

I also have a book of weird alchemy & mysticism plates, which is nice if you want to pretend you're in a cult.

LINKS TO IMAGES:

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Posted: **Mon Sep 22, 2014 10:36 am**

There are so many good books that I have either read, have had recommended to me, or are lying around my house waiting to be read!

If anyone remembers me from the old boards, you probably know that I have been going through it these past couple of months. Thankfully (and in large part due to this community and the network of friends and mental health professionals I've met over the past year), I feel like I'm in a much better place. What's helped me has been reading about the nature of domination, and how to build a map for self-care. I'm going to list both books and zines that have helped me along the way:

All About Love and Communion: the Female Search for Love, bell hooks
The Dance of Anger, Harriet Lerner
Violence, James Gilligan
Healing from Trauma, Jasmine Lee Cori
Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma, Staci Haines
"Killing Misogyny: A Personal Story of Love, Violence, and Strategies for Survival," Cristina Meztli Tzintzun; and "What it Feels Like When It Finally Comes: Surviving Incest in Real Life" by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, both anthologized in Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape, ed. Jessica Valenti and Jaclyn Friedman
Dear Sister: Letters from Survivors of Sexual Violence, ed. Lisa Factora-Borchers
Sisters of the Yam: Black Women and Self-Recovery, bell hooks
Silencing the Self, Dana Crowley Jack
Toxic Parents, Susan Forward and Craig Buck
Feeling Good, David Burns

And I found, throughout my journey, that these authors would cite other authors, and those quotes would be so compelling. In her self-help work, bell hooks often quotes John Bradshaw, and I recently acquired one of his books about healing my inner child, Homecoming. So it's made me feel like I'm interconnected with a ton of great resources.

If you want to ask me more about specific titles, feel free to!

Posted: **Mon Sep 22, 2014 1:58 pm**

So many great ones in your list, suburban_witch!

One I have that has been brought with me so much over the years and picked up so constantly the paper feels like a pair of old jeans is Thich Nhat Hanh's "Peace is Every Step."

One of the things I love most about it is the fact that it has care and kindness for others and the self so intertwined, it makes clear that one without the other is pretty much impossible. In other words, if you're really caring for yourself compassionately, you really don't have to worry too much about doing right by others, because you're already going to be in that mode and the kind of practices that truly are good for everyone! And, as it turns out, those things and ways of being don't require anyone to be a martyr, a doormat, or without yourself: in fact, being those ways are so counter to not just truly caring for yourself, but also caring for other people.

Posted: **Sun Dec 28, 2014 1:19 pm**

I find books by Pam Muñoz Ryan very comforting. Check out her book called "Riding Freedom"
It inspired me and gave me hope during a difficult week. This author's books are all filled with hope and they always make my week better.
Also a favorite is Eight Keys, by Suzanne La Fleur. Her other books are good, but they pack a huge emotional punch, so I don't reccomend reading them when you are very distressed.
The reason I like both of these authors is that their characters triumph over very hard stuff. That helps me keep surviving and healing.

Posted: **Tue Dec 30, 2014 8:48 am**

Realized I forgot one of my go tos. "The Bunny Planet" books by Rosemary Wells. They're really soothing and totally get the things you want when you're having a bad day.

Scarleteen

Good Books for Self-Care

Good Books for Self-Care

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