Orgasm??

[PoohBear]

I'm 19 and have been sexually active for 3 years and have been masturbating for about 5. My partner and I are very close and are unofficially engaged to be married. However, I don't think I've ever had an orgasm. I get very close when I masturbate, the pressure builds up but then the feeling just stops. I will keep touching and what not but the feeling just goes away, and there is no muscle tension or release. It's kind of like when you have to sneeze and it goes away on you. Then afterwards, I get too sensitive to continue. I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is an orgasm or if I just need to keep trying?

[Sam W]

Hi Poohbear,

It's hard to say when someone else has an orgasm, since it's only you experiencing it. It's possible that you're orgasming and it's not feeling quite like what you expect, or it may be that you're just not quite getting there. This article might give you a little more information about what you're experiencing: Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide

As for whether or not to keep trying, I'd encourage you to do that regardless of whether or not you're having orgasms. The more you experiment with sex (both solo and partnered), the more you build a sense of what does and does not feel good for your body.

[Ashleah]

Hi PoohBear,

Do you feel satisfied with the sex you have been having (both masturbation and with your partner)? Do you feel as if something is missing by possibly not having an orgasm? I ask because often times an orgasm is viewed as the marker of "good sex" or pleasure when really it is something that might or might not be part of that at all. Or people think that there is something wrong with them and/or their body bc they do not orgasm, which is also not the case. So really I'm just trying to get an idea of your concerns.

The way that people experience orgasm certainly varies, even for an individual it will not always be the same, if it does happen at all. It is possible that you have had an orgasm before and it was just different from what you expected. If you are feeling a lot of pressure or anxiety around this, it is also possible that it is making it difficult for an orgasm to happen. Basically, focusing on an orgasm keeps you from orgasming.

We have a great article here: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexua ... sers_guide

Check it out and let us know if you have any thoughts on it.